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http://www.goa-world.com/goa/credit%5Ccredit.htm Tumcam Maie-mogacho ieukar. Stay tuned to Gulf Goans e-Newsletter - everyday someone, somewhere learns a little..... Special Report: A Parents Viewpoint With A Child With Autism By Dr. Pooja Chodankar I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...... When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." But the only thing about being a parent of an Autistic child is that when we land The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Italy." But instead of Michelangelo David we find Rembrandts and things don’t start to look so right. One fine day The Doctor comes in and says, “You landed in Holland, not in Italy." after months and years of planning and thinking its Italy! And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland A PARENTS EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER RIDE Denial Guilt Blame Anger Isolation Depression Denial When a situation arises that exceeds a person's ability to cope, such as the diagnosis of a terminal disease, denial is often the result. It is human nature to handle a devastating situation by simply pretending it does not exist. This is not a failure on the part of the person to “handle it.” In many ways, it shows that the coping mechanisms are functioning normally in the part of the human brain that allows only a certain amount of stress to be processed at a time. By avoiding a stress overload, the ability to cope is maintained. Guilt Parents invariably turn inward when something goes wrong with their child. It is a natural reaction. As a mother, you may question every aspect of your pregnancy and wonder what you did to cause the autism or what you could have done to prevent it. You may look in the mirror and analyze every moment in an effort to determine what you did wrong to cause this to happen to your child. As a dad, you may also turn inward as you find ways to blame yourself for what has happened—even going so far as to despise yourself for some perceived or imagined wrong. Anger Hearing that a child has a lifelong disorder with an unknown cause and for which there is no absolute and effective treatment is enough to make anyone angry. Anger is a normal part of loss. It is only natural to be infuriated with a situation that is out of your control; learn to be gentle with yourself and your family when you feel angry.Isolation. Because of the nature of this condition, parent's are often socially isolated. Raising children who don't often tolerate outings. It is difficult for a lot of them to have any semblance of a normal life. Depression A 2007 study conducted at the University of North Carolina suggests that "Mothers of children with autism may be prone to depression if they feel responsible for the cause or outcome of their child's disorder...". 50% of mothers with children with autism had elevated depression scores, compared to 15% to 21% in the other groups. Single mothers of children with disabilities were found to be more vulnerable to severe depression than mothers living with a partner. DR. POOJA CHODANKAR Mothers of Disabled Children, by Erma Bombeck Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how these mothers of handicapped children are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. Armstrong, Beth: son; patron saint, Matthew. Forest, Marjorie: daughter; patron saint, Cecilia. Rudledge, Carrie: twins; patron saint.. . give her Gerard. He's used to profanity. Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles. Give her a blind child. The angel is curious. Why this one, God? She's so happy. Exactly, says God. Could I give a child with a handicap to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel. But has she patience? asks the angel. I don't want to her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you. God smiles. No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness. The angel gasps. Selfishness? Is that a virtue? God nods. If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word; She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see-ignorance, cruelty, prejudice-and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side. And what about her patron saint? asks the angel, pen poised in midair. God smiles. A mirror will suffice!! IMPORTANT POINTS FOR PARENTS WITH CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS To be a little selfish To be a little patient To know how to laugh\ To know how to love with lots of hugs and kisses To never take for granted anything And above all-To rise above- Ignorance, Cruelty and Prejudice!! In My Garden - By Salley Meyer(Poem) I wandered through my garden on a lovely summers day gazing at the beauty of the flowers in full array. The snapdragon so colorful the poppy red and bold I reached to touch the sunflower with her petals of yellow gold. In the garden I saw the lily, so white and ever pure the marigold so hardy and the petunias galore. Yet by the garden wall there stood, my lovely velvet rose Her beauty more magnificent than any that I chose. Her colors were so delicate her scent a pure delight I never saw the thorns she bore too late, I felt the bite. I jumped back for a moment I couldn't understand why a flower so soft and lovely could hurt, and make me cry. But still her beauty captured me and once again I tried, but this time I was careful not to touch the bitter side. In the garden of the children there are beauties everywhere the delicate and pretty and the ones with charm so rare. There are those who will grow stronger in the pleasant summer sun, there are some that fade and wither despite love from everyone. But the rarest of the children are the ones who bear the thorn, the children who will struggle from the day that they are born. But they also bear the beauty of the soft and gentle rose, their scent is of most bittersweet and this is the child, I chose. And reaching out to touch him I felt his prickle there but once again I stretched my hand and found the beauty rare. In the garden of the children where they grow so wild and free, I picked the one who has a price and found the one for me. About Dr. Pooja Chodankar Dr. Pooja Chodankar is currently an ENT Registrar working at ZAIN & AL SABAH HOSPITAL. Born to Mrs. Usha & Mr. S.M. Chopra in Delhi, she underwent her primary school there and then went to U.S.A. where she did her secondary school and then finally came back to India to pursue a medical career. She is married to Dr. Jaganath Chodankar, and is a happy & proud mother of three sons, of which her second sibling is Autistic. Having been a part of CLUB 9 and Indian Women's Association, which conduct regular activities & provides support to various Special Needs children organizations, she has developed very close encounters with Special Needs children. She is also a member of the Indian Doctors Forum for the past eight years and is a regular face at most of the IDF conducted Health Awareness camps and its various other community oriented activities. www.q8india.com The First Online Konkani Music Station - Started on March 14, 200 http://www.live365.com/stations/61664 Konkani Video on You Tube http://www.youtube.com/uly334 www.targetgoa.com http://goablog100.blogspot.com
