Okay, I'll continue my conversation with myself here.

Someone fixed it! It's not unicorn land yet, but *substantially* faster. 
Hovering around 800ms according to Pingdom now. Which I guess is fine: 
Pingdom requests include session creation cost each time, so regular 
requests would be faster. 

Well done Googlers!

I'm wondering what latencies others are seeing if measured from the 
outside? Anyone care to share their secrets?

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