Please don�t delude yourself into thinking that you�re doing that when
you have some ulterior motive in mind. You may actually be helping
someone, or doing something for them, but if you do it with a secret, selfish
motive, it just isn�t the same thing. You may fool everyone else, but you�ll find
it almost impossible to fool yourself.. Oh, there are many people who
put up a great front of total altruism.
Virtually everything they do is to help others, or so they would have
you believe. But down deep they know that they choose the people for whom
they wish to do things for purposes of their own. Either that or they have a
martyr complex which they have to satisfy, which is just as selfish a
reason for helping others as any other.. Be honest now, would you go as far
out of your way for someone who meant absolutely nothing to you as you would
for a person who might throw some business your way, or who might return the
favor in one fashion or another? I think not. Don�t get me wrong, I�m
suggesting that every time you do something for someone it has to be completely
unselfish and altruistic. As I said before, not only is this impossible, but
not too desirable either.
On the other hand, if you never help anyone without a selfish motive
in mind (and too many of us go through life behaving this way) you will
have a tough time relieving that loneliness. Forget what you want for a
moment, and think of what the other person wants. If you will only realize,
that everyone has basically the same desires and hopes that you do, you may
find this easier to do. I don�t wish to go into a lot of examples of how
certain people attain their own desires while earnestly striving for others.
You can observe such examples in our daily life and find more in the biography
of any successful person; in any book which teaches you how to attain, or
prepares you for, success.
You�ll discover the truth of this once you really and earnestly try doing
for others as you would for yourself. No � I don�t mean �Do unto others,
etc.� I mean do for others. I�ve been a little careful about following
the �Golden Rule� too literally, because it does not take into consideration the
completely different tastes and preferences of different people� Doing
unto others, as you would have them do unto you is fine when you know that
the others in question like the same things that you do. As an extreme
example, I certainly wouldn�t be too happy about a masochist applying the golden
rule to me! What he would have others do unto him, I can live without!
To get back on track � I think you�ll find that showing an honest interest,
and having an honest interest, in others will cause others to be more
interested in you. This will create just a little nick in that iron
constitution of the �private I� but enough to make it just a bit less
private. From here on in, instead of thinking of yourself, or of what
you�re going to say next, when someone talks to you, listen to him!
Feign that attention at first, if you have to, ti will soon become real enough..
I have never yet met anybody, from any walk of life, from whom I haven�t
learned something. Some part of their experience, some thought or idea,
no matter how minute, was passed over from them to me. If such a thought
or idea did not get across, I would work to make it happen. I feel a sense
of personal loss if I don�t learn something from each and every individual
I meet.
The loneliest people in the world, of course are those who dislike
other people. If you dislike someone, it�s a bit difficult to be interested in
him. Well there�s only one solution, and that is to stop disliking people, I
we can�t love everyone we come in contact with, but if you dislike most
people, I�m afraid there�s something wrong with you! A group of college
students was once asked to list, as quickly as they could, the names of
people they disliked. When the time allotted has elapsed, every student
had listed a different number of names. It was discovered that those who
disliked the most people were themselves the most widely disliked. So
friends if you believe that being interested in others might help you,
then you must start being genuinely interested in others right NOW! You�ll
eventually have to agree that the end justifies the means, and the
means may even become more important to you than the
end.
�During the time of the year, when we are in the Lenten season, let
those who act selfishly get themselves out of the shell of loneliness and
selflessly work for the benefit of the community.
Oxem zaum, zalear purro.�
