Yes, Ja, Oui and Si, Hornlisters, and All Victims, Worldwide: Now, the first responder I am not, but I am the thinkings having that Jasper's prize I should be getting, anyways (message below to NYTimes):: Mein Lieb Herr Doktor Kozinn: Please the honor of my introductions to you be having as I am Professor I.M. Gestopftmitscheist and I am a French horn player of some repute (and otherwise)and my signature below verifies that but today I read with the greatestest of interests you article about my (and formerly, your, appearances having) noblestest (and ignoblestest, at least in your opinions, sometimes, or perhaps, mostly) of orchestral and solo instruments and I want to make the alertings to you (and give you a "leg up" on your competitors in the music criticism world) that I am the founder and leading proponent of the new science of CLAMOLOGY and that I made the presentations of my LEXICON of CLAMOLOGY recently at the 40th Annual International (French) Horn Society Symposium in Denver, CO and you can see this now on YouTube and if you study this, your knowledges and criticisms of the horn players will be "dead on" with no "inaccuracies," "cracks," or "slithers" in your very important and widespread writings in the NYT as you will know what those horrible professional hornists did and you can describe every one of those clams with scientific authority with my blessing and permissions, no problems, and then you can argue with the audience members, fellow critics, conductors, managers, other musicians who play the always perfect instruments (piano, violin, viola, cello, doublebass, flute, piccolo, oboe, English horn, clarinet, bassoon, contra bassoon, trumpet, trombone, tuba, tympani, percussion, organ, Ondes Martinot, Therimin, synthesizer, ocarina, harmonica and jaw harp)(not to mention the human voice) exactly what those awful French horn players did to the otherwise flawless performances so here is the link to the films (7 segments) _http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=professor+ihs+40&search_type_ (http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=professor+ihs+40&search_type) = and I wish you the very best of successes in your future criticisms (and you are the only critic that about this I am telling, so use it all you can and please send me a copy of your quartet and a picture of you with your horn in your dopey uniform)!!! Kindestest of Greetonings and Mostestest of Pettifoggings, Prof. I. M. Gestopftmitscheist Principal 8th horn and Principal 4th Wagner Tuber, Schplittenotendorf am Oedland Staatsoper und Philharmoniker, (ret.) Solo Horn, Bad Corner Brass Quintet Hornist, Broken Winds WW Quintet Solo 4th Horn (Leader, call me for bookings), Smirnoff Horn Quartet Assistant Associate Principal Mellophone, NJ Turnpike Authority Drum and Bugle Corps, "The Phantom Lane Changers" (ret., bad knees) Hornist as Needed, L'Ensemble du Chambre des Palourdes Principal Natural Horn, I Soloisti di Feces Principal Baroque and Hunting Horn, Camarata Vongoleforte Adjunct, Part-time, Arms-length Professor of Horn and Pest Control, Exit 2 Community College, Exit 2, NJ (Ret.) Adjunct, Part-time, Arms-length Professor of Horn, Pest Control and Home Petroleum Studies, Northern New Hampshire Technical Institute, Bad Corner, NH Author, "The Kopprasch Connection," "Kopprasch for Fun and Profit," "Kopprasch for the New Millenium: Where Do you Fit In?" "Hooked on Hornonics," "What If Saddam Had Given Ouday and Qusay Olds Ambassador or Conn Pan American Single F Horns and a Kopprasch Book Instead of AK 47's, Booze and Porn?" and "The DaVinci Clam: Was Kopprasch God's Other Son?" Founder, Director and CEO, Universal Institute for the Study, Preservation and Dissemination of Kopprasch Throughout the Solar System Founder and Guru Extraordinaire, Clammers Anonymous (a twelve half step program) Grand Poobah of the Koppraschian Kult Director and Program Manager, The All Kopprasch Channel (AKC), Kopprasch Public Radio (KPR) Host of The Kopprasch Factor on AKC and All Kopprasch Considered on KPR Owner-Operator, Bad Corner Petroleum Laboratory, "The Worlds Largest Valve Oil Factory" Founder and Disseminator of CLAMSAA, the Universal Holiday for Horn Players Interplanetarily Known Soloist and Artist of Record Exclusive Anborg, Bundy, Carl Fischer, Olds Ambassador, Sansone, Val+Mart and Conn Artist Who Does Not Get His Horns For Free
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