Presences between servers are indeed a problem and very error-prone.
Maybe we should have a XEP that allows better exchange of presence between server, that is when the s2s was just established? It often gives timeout and a XEP that would list all JIDs of users from server A for which users on server B have subscription could come in handy here, it could have something like:
<presences> <contact jid="foo" type="available"/> <contact jid="bar" type="away">Some nice away message</contact><contact jid="offline_user" type="unavailable">Offline message, if it was specified on disconnection</contact>
</presences> What do you think? -- Jonathan
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