Hi Brian,

Thanks for the careful review. Attach please find the update man page.

On 08/20/09 05:46 AM, Brian Cameron wrote:
> Alfred:
>
>       ---noconfig             ignore any configfile found.
>
>       --v, --version          Display   the   current  version  of
>                               coherence.
>
> Why are some of the option description capitalized and others are not.
> I'd think, for example, "ignore" should be "Ignore".
>
> I also think "configfile" should be "configuration file".
>
>       --c, --configfile=file  Specify the location of the configu-
>                               ration file. The default location is
>                               $HOME/.coherence.   Example   config
>                               file  can  be  found  at /var/coher-
>                               ence/coherence.conf
>
> You correctly use the <replaceable> tag as follows on the left-column:
>
>   "--configfile=<replaceable>file</replaceable>"
>
> However, in the description you should also use the same tags whenever
> you use the same word.  For example, the description should say:
>
> Specify the location of the configuration
> <replaceable>file</replaceable>.  The default locaiton is
> $HOME/.coherence.  An example configuration
> <replaceable>file</replaceable> can be found at /foo."
>
> Note also change "Example config" to "An example configuration".
>
>                               the option isn't specified.
>
> Man pages should not use contractions like "isn't" or "don't".  Use
> "is not" or "do not", etc.
>   
Updated.
>>>   >      ence provides an implementation of: a SSDP  (Simple  Service
>>>   >      Discovery Protocol) server, a MSEARCH (command to find other
>>>   >      devices connected to the UPnP network) client to find  other
>>>   >      devices  connected  to  the  network,  server and client for
>>>   >      HTTP/SOAP requests, server and client for Event Subscription
>>>   >      and Notification.
>>>
>>> This might look better as an<itemizedlist>.  Refer to the pkg-config.1
>>> manpage and see how it uses the<itemizedlist>  and<listitem>  tags.
>>>
>>>       
>> Updated.
>>     
> Looks better to me.  What do you think?
>   
Yes, it looks much better.
>>>   >      For  users,  Coherence  can  be  used  in  conjunction  with
>>>   >      Rhythmbox,   Totem  or  Elisa,  and  become  a  controllable
>>>
>>> When you refer to programs like elisa, rhythmbox, totem, etc. you
>>> should refer to them with<citerefentry>  tags so they look like this:
>>>
>>> For users, Coherence can be used in conjuction with rhythmbox(1),
>>> totem(1), or elisa(1); and become a controllable.
>>>
>>> Note a semicolon is a bit better grammer before the word "and".
>>>
>>>       
>> Updated.
>>     
>       box(1),  totem(1),  elisa(1);  and  become  a   controllable
>
> You forgot the word or - "or elisa(1)"
>
> Just to explain, when a sentence includes a list of items and you
> also need to use a comma to break the sentence, then you use a semicolon
> to break the sentence.  For example
>
> I don't like to eat fish, cheese, and milk; but I do like to eat.
>
> You could also avoid the use of the semicolon by breaking it into
> two sentences.
>
> For users, Coherence can be used in conjunction with rhythmbox(1),
> totem(1), or elisa(1).  When used in this way, these programs become
> a controllable..."
>
> This is actually a little less awkward than using a semicolon, I think.
>   
Updated. Thanks for the explanation.
>>>   >                              Example:                          --
>>>   >                              plugin=backend:FSStore,name:MyCoherence
>>>
>>> I would add an EXAMPLES section and move this example to that section.
>>> Would be nice to provide some other examples since it sounds like
>>> coherence can be configured to run a lot of different ways.
>>>       
> Why no EXAMPLES section?  Manpages should have an EXAMPLES section if
> you want to follow the Sun manpage style guide.  Not all of our manpages
> do, though.
>   
Added EXAMPLES section.
>>>   >      --p, --plugin=plugin    activate plugin
>>>   >                              Available backends are:
>>>
>>> In the first line you refer to it as a "plugin" but in the next line you
>>> refer to it as a "backend".  We should use the same term.  What is the
>>> default value?
>>>
>>>       
>> Please note that one plugin contains several keyword: backend/plugin
>> name. I think the use of "backend" here doesn't conflict with "plugin".
>> Users can activate certain plugin by specifying key "backend" to one of
>> the available backends, FSStore for example.
>>     
> It might be nicer to explain this in the manpage, and not just to me.
> :)
>   
Added to the man page.
>> I don't think it's good to provide examples as almost all the available
>> backends involve trademark issue. And the above one-liner is the generic
>> example. Users can replace the backend/plugin name with the one they like.
>>     
> It would still be good to move the example to an EXAMPLES section.  You
> really should not provide an example inside the description of an
> option.
>
> Is it really impossible to give any other examples of how to use 
> coherence without mentioning a trademark?  Some of the options seem
> to not be trademarks (e.g. ElisaPlayer).
>   
Added.

Best Regards,
-Alfred
>>>   >  SEE ALSO
>>>   >      python(1), attributes(5)
>>>
>>> You refer to programs like totem, elisa, etc. in the manpage.  Any
>>> program you refer to in the manpage should be mentioned in the "SEE
>>> ALSO" section.
>>>       
> Looks good.  As with any manpage, you can always make them better.  :)
> I do not think any of the issues that I mention above are critical to
> fix, but you might want to fix the easier ones.
>
> Brian
>   

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