Alfred:

> Thanks for the careful review. Attach please find the update man page.

Looks very professional, and does a good job of meeting the manpage
style guide.  Great work.

Brian


> On 08/20/09 05:46 AM, Brian Cameron wrote:
>> Alfred:
>>
>>        ---noconfig             ignore any configfile found.
>>
>>        --v, --version          Display   the   current  version  of
>>                                coherence.
>>
>> Why are some of the option description capitalized and others are not.
>> I'd think, for example, "ignore" should be "Ignore".
>>
>> I also think "configfile" should be "configuration file".
>>
>>        --c, --configfile=file  Specify the location of the configu-
>>                                ration file. The default location is
>>                                $HOME/.coherence.   Example   config
>>                                file  can  be  found  at /var/coher-
>>                                ence/coherence.conf
>>
>> You correctly use the<replaceable>  tag as follows on the left-column:
>>
>>    "--configfile=<replaceable>file</replaceable>"
>>
>> However, in the description you should also use the same tags whenever
>> you use the same word.  For example, the description should say:
>>
>> Specify the location of the configuration
>> <replaceable>file</replaceable>.  The default locaiton is
>> $HOME/.coherence.  An example configuration
>> <replaceable>file</replaceable>  can be found at /foo."
>>
>> Note also change "Example config" to "An example configuration".
>>
>>                                the option isn't specified.
>>
>> Man pages should not use contractions like "isn't" or "don't".  Use
>> "is not" or "do not", etc.
>>
> Updated.
>>>>    >       ence provides an implementation of: a SSDP  (Simple  Service
>>>>    >       Discovery Protocol) server, a MSEARCH (command to find other
>>>>    >       devices connected to the UPnP network) client to find  other
>>>>    >       devices  connected  to  the  network,  server and client for
>>>>    >       HTTP/SOAP requests, server and client for Event Subscription
>>>>    >       and Notification.
>>>>
>>>> This might look better as an<itemizedlist>.  Refer to the pkg-config.1
>>>> manpage and see how it uses the<itemizedlist>   and<listitem>   tags.
>>>>
>>>>
>>> Updated.
>>>
>> Looks better to me.  What do you think?
>>
> Yes, it looks much better.
>>>>    >       For  users,  Coherence  can  be  used  in  conjunction  with
>>>>    >       Rhythmbox,   Totem  or  Elisa,  and  become  a  controllable
>>>>
>>>> When you refer to programs like elisa, rhythmbox, totem, etc. you
>>>> should refer to them with<citerefentry>   tags so they look like this:
>>>>
>>>> For users, Coherence can be used in conjuction with rhythmbox(1),
>>>> totem(1), or elisa(1); and become a controllable.
>>>>
>>>> Note a semicolon is a bit better grammer before the word "and".
>>>>
>>>>
>>> Updated.
>>>
>>        box(1),  totem(1),  elisa(1);  and  become  a   controllable
>>
>> You forgot the word or - "or elisa(1)"
>>
>> Just to explain, when a sentence includes a list of items and you
>> also need to use a comma to break the sentence, then you use a semicolon
>> to break the sentence.  For example
>>
>> I don't like to eat fish, cheese, and milk; but I do like to eat.
>>
>> You could also avoid the use of the semicolon by breaking it into
>> two sentences.
>>
>> For users, Coherence can be used in conjunction with rhythmbox(1),
>> totem(1), or elisa(1).  When used in this way, these programs become
>> a controllable..."
>>
>> This is actually a little less awkward than using a semicolon, I think.
>>
> Updated. Thanks for the explanation.
>>>>    >                               Example:                          --
>>>>    >                               plugin=backend:FSStore,name:MyCoherence
>>>>
>>>> I would add an EXAMPLES section and move this example to that section.
>>>> Would be nice to provide some other examples since it sounds like
>>>> coherence can be configured to run a lot of different ways.
>>>>
>> Why no EXAMPLES section?  Manpages should have an EXAMPLES section if
>> you want to follow the Sun manpage style guide.  Not all of our manpages
>> do, though.
>>
> Added EXAMPLES section.
>>>>    >       --p, --plugin=plugin    activate plugin
>>>>    >                               Available backends are:
>>>>
>>>> In the first line you refer to it as a "plugin" but in the next line you
>>>> refer to it as a "backend".  We should use the same term.  What is the
>>>> default value?
>>>>
>>>>
>>> Please note that one plugin contains several keyword: backend/plugin
>>> name. I think the use of "backend" here doesn't conflict with "plugin".
>>> Users can activate certain plugin by specifying key "backend" to one of
>>> the available backends, FSStore for example.
>>>
>> It might be nicer to explain this in the manpage, and not just to me.
>> :)
>>
> Added to the man page.
>>> I don't think it's good to provide examples as almost all the available
>>> backends involve trademark issue. And the above one-liner is the generic
>>> example. Users can replace the backend/plugin name with the one they like.
>>>
>> It would still be good to move the example to an EXAMPLES section.  You
>> really should not provide an example inside the description of an
>> option.
>>
>> Is it really impossible to give any other examples of how to use
>> coherence without mentioning a trademark?  Some of the options seem
>> to not be trademarks (e.g. ElisaPlayer).
>>
> Added.
>
> Best Regards,
> -Alfred
>>>>    >   SEE ALSO
>>>>    >       python(1), attributes(5)
>>>>
>>>> You refer to programs like totem, elisa, etc. in the manpage.  Any
>>>> program you refer to in the manpage should be mentioned in the "SEE
>>>> ALSO" section.
>>>>
>> Looks good.  As with any manpage, you can always make them better.  :)
>> I do not think any of the issues that I mention above are critical to
>> fix, but you might want to fix the easier ones.
>>
>> Brian
>>
>


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