A Women's Point System
>
> In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
> Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and
>points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she
>expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the
>point system:
>
> Simple Duties:
>
> You make the bed...............................................+1
> You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows......0
> You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets....................-1
>
> You leave the toilet seat up...................................-5
> You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty..............0
> When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex....-1
> When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom............-2
>
> You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings......+5
> In the snow....................................................+8
> But return with beer...........................................-5
>
> You check out a suspicious noise at night.......................0
> You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing..............0
> You check out a suspicious noise and it is something...........+5
> You pummel it with a six iron.................................+10
> It's her pet..................................................-10
>
> Social Engagements:
>
> Party:
>
> You stay by her side the entire party...........................0
> You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
>drinking buddy.........................................-2
> Named Tiffany..................................................-4
> Tiffany is a dancer............................................-6
> Tiffany has implants..........................................-80
>
> Her Birthday:
>
> You take her out to dinner......................................0
> You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar...........+1
> Okay, it is a sports bar.......................................-2
> And it's all-you-can-eat night.................................-3
> It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
> painted the colors of your favorite team......................-10
>
> A Night Out With the Boys:
>
> Go with a pal..................................................-5
> The pal is happily married.....................................-4
> Or frighteningly single........................................-7
> And he drives a Mustang.......................................-10
> With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED).................-15
>
> A Night Out:
>
> You take her to a movie........................................+2
> You take her to a movie she likes..............................+4
> You take her to a movie you hate...............................+6
> You take her to a movie you like...............................-2
> It's called DeathCop 3.........................................-3
> Which features cyborgs that eat humans.........................-9
> You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.........-15
>
> Your Physique:
>
> You develop a noticeable potbelly.............................-15
> You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of
> it............................................................+10
> You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans AND
> baggy Hawaiian shirts.........................................-30
> You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."..............-800
>
> The Big Question:
>
> She asks, "Do I look fat?" You hesitate in responding.........-10
> You reply, "Where?"...........................................-35
> Any other response............................................-20
>
> Communication: When she wants to talk about a problem:
>
> You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression...0
> You listen, for over 30 minutes................................+5
> You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the
>TV...........................................................+100
>
> She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep...........-20
>
-------------------
Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Scott D. Hendershot
Media, Pennsylvania
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Fax: 610 891 8262
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Visit the jfw ml web page: http://jfw.cjb.net
