I'd like to apologize to the list for not keeping my angry post to Laurent
private, not to mention forgetting to label it NJC. There was no need to add
to the negative vibe on this list. I'm sorry for that.
The rest of this is kind of long and boring. Feel free to skip it. I just
need to write it down...
I believe I am still in physical shock. It's similiar to what I experienced
as a teenager whenever there was a fire in my neighborhood. (The issue was
racism and the weapon was arson.) On more than one occasion I was paralyzed
with fear as smoke from a fire in a neighboring building burned. I've
watched some firemen being blown out of windows and others on ladders,
engulfed in flames. I even opened my own front door one night to find a
fireman standing there, weilding an ax, ready to break the door down - even
though it was 'just a false alarm.' We used to find entire books of matches
partially burned outside the bedroom window - left by arsonists. For two
years, I slept in my clothes every night, so I could get out quickly without
having to get dressed. I watched well over 50 fires burn in that time.
Did you know you can taste smoke before you can smell it? At least, if
you're sensitive to it, you can. Did you know a car horn beeps
intermittently when the insulation burns off the wires and that it's
impossible to duplicate that sound any other way? Do you know that for a
normal fire, it takes about 2 days for the water pressure to return to
normal? Did you know that there are people known as "sparkies" who listen to
fire bands and go watch fires and firemen at work as a kind of hobby?
Anyway, I used to shake and had to watch each fire until it was completely
doused. That's exactly what this feels like. When will this fire be doused?
Blood Black Night
Smothering in damp night air
He takes the long way home
He climbs the stairs of deep despair
Heavy heels hit crumbling stone
He shakes the rusted raiing loose
On his way out to the ledge
Stands ready like an unlit fuse
Out here on the edge
In the blood black night
Where dreams die so young
To the needle or the knife
And the pain of life
Gone wrong
He sits out on the fire escape
And watches shadows pass
He hurls his empty bottles down
Just to hear the breaking glass
Says he's already doing time
He's up to twenty years
He's itching to commit the crime
To get him out of here
In the blood black night
Where dreams die so young
To the needle or the knife
And the pain of life
Gone wrong
And in some old forgotten rooms
Abandoned to the rats
An angry hand spills gasoline
And drops a lighted match
And all traces of life inside
Are stripped bare by the fire
Except for metal, stone and bone
And a few thin threads of wire
In the blood black night
Where dreams die so young
To the needle or the knife
And the pain of life
Gone wrong
lots of love
Anne
