A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his >mother he's been given a part in the school play. >"Wonderful. What part is it?" The boy says: "I play the Jewish husband." >The >mother scowls and says: "Go back and tell the teacher you want a >speaking part." > ******************************************** > Jewish view on when life begins: > In Jewish tradition the fetus is not considered >viable until after it > graduates from medical school. > ****************************************** > 5760 Year according to Jewish calendar. > 4697 Year according to Chinese calendar. > 1063 Total number of years that Jews went without >Chinese food. > ******************************************** > Q:What did the waiter ask the group of dining >Jewish mothers? > A: "Is ANYTHING all right?" > ************************************************ > How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a >light bulb? (Sigh) >Don't bother, I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to >be a nuisance to >anybody. > ************************************************* > Short summary of every Jewish Holiday: > "They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat." > > ******************************************************** > Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the >Jewish mother on the > street and said: "Lady, I haven't eaten in three >days." She replied: "Force >yourself." > *********************************************************************** > Q:What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a >Jewish Mother? > A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go. >
*************************************************************** > A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are >you?" > "Not too good," says the mother. "I've been very >weak." > The son says: "Why are you so weak?" > She says: "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days." > The man says: "That's terrible. Why haven't you >eaten in 38 days? >The mother answers: "Because I didn't want my mouth >to be filled with food if you should call."
