Got this from a friend in New Yawk:
> Hebonics 101 > > The New York City school board has officially declared Jewish English - now > dubbed Hebonics - as a second language. Backers of the move say the city's > School District is the first in the state to recognize Hebonics as a valid > language and significant attribute of New York culture. According to Howard > Schollman, > linguistics professor at New York University and renowned Hebonics scholar, > the sentence structure of Hebonics derives from middle and eastern European > language patterns, as well as Yiddish. > > Prof. Schollman explains, "In Hebonics, the response to any question is > usually another question -- plus a complaint that is implied or stated. Thus > 'How are > you?' may be answered, 'How should I be, with my feet?'" Schollman says that > Hebonics is a superb linguistic vehicle for expressing sarcasm or skepticism. > An example is the repetition of a word with "sh" or "shm" at the beginning: > > "Mountains, shmountains. Stay away. You want a nosebleed?" > > Another Hebonics pattern is moving the subject of a > sentence to the end, with its pronoun at the beginning: > > "It's beautiful, that dress." > > Schollman says one also sees the Hebonics verb moved to > the end of the sentence. Thus the response to a remark such as > > 'He's slow as a turtle,' could be: "Turtle, shmurtle! Like a fly in > Vaseline he walks." > > Schollman provided the following examples from his textbook, Switched-On > Hebonics. > > Question: "What time is it?" > English answer: "Sorry, I don't know." > Hebonic answer: "What am I, a clock?" > > Remark: "I hope things turn out okay." > English response: "Thanks." > Hebonic response: "I should BE so lucky!" > > Remark: "Hurry up. Dinner's ready." > English response: "Be right there." > Hebonic response: "Alright already, I'm coming. What's with the 'hurry' > business? Is there a fire?" > > Remark: "I like the tie you gave me; wear it all the time." > English response: "Glad you like it." > Hebonic response: "So what's the matter; you don't like the other ties I > gave you? > > Remark: "Sarah and I are engaged." > English response: "Congratulations!" > Hebonic response: "She could stand to gain a few pounds." > > Question: "Would you like to go riding with us?" > English answer: "Just say when." > Hebonic answer: "Riding, shmiding! Do I look like a cowboy?" > > To guest of honor at his birthday party: > English remark: "Happy birthday." > Hebonic remark: "A year smarter you should become." > > Remark: "A beautiful day." > English response: "Sure is." > Hebonic response: "So the sun is out; what else is new?" > > Answering a phone call from son: > English remark: "It's been a long time since you called." > Hebonic remark: "You didn't wonder if I'm dead yet?"
