Oh Colin, what wonderful news about your wife! Blessings to you
always! I am so hopeful for you, and for Jimmy too -- In case Jimmy
hasn't told you all (sorry for spilling the beans, Jimster, but it will
come out sooner or later), he too is being reunited with an old love --
"Peaches" aka Cheryl Wheeler! Yes folks, you have heard it from me
first -- Jimmy's in love! You may remember that Jimmy and Peaches were
together years ago, before "the accident". Now, after years of soul
searching, Jimmy and his beloved Peaches are now together again. No
more living in sin, no more lonely nights -- this is the real thing!
They rekindled the fire last month, at the Olymipics in good ole Mormon
country. Both Jimmy and Peaches were backstage, trying to get Elvis
Stoyko's attention -- Peaches always had a thing for skaters, and Jimmy,
being the skater extrordinaire that he once was, was dying to get his
hands on Elvis's costume (don't ask -- some sick role-playing thing he
was into, some sinful behavior or other). Anyway, after waiting for
Elvis forever, both Peaches and Jimmy decided to look for some coffee
(the forbidden beverage) to pep them up, and they met across the coffee
pot. One thing led to another, and soon they were frantically making
love in the dressing room, on top of Todd Eldredge's costume -- he was
pissed, but love knows no boundaries! Anyhoooo, after much soul
searching, and consultation with Celestia (you know, Anne Heche's alter
ego), they decided that they needed to be together. I am standing up
for Jimmy at the wedding, and, to make things even better, Jimmy
arranged for Charo to be my date! Coo-chi coo-chi indeed! James, I
wish you and Peaches a long, happy and prosperous life together -- may
all your ups and downs be in bed (or at the rink -- whatever floats your
boat!)
Evian
