Kate wrote: i grew up with early neil young but never paid much attention to him after that...i am not one of those neil young freaks& in fact am often quite critical of some of his stuff...however last year's concert was one of the very best i'd ever witnessed of anyone...the man is possessed of an amazing purity of musical soulfullness...also i thought his version of imagine at the concert for nyc was of the same deep stuff...
kakki "I started thinking that this may be less about arrogance and uppityness and more about maybe a real self-esteem problem and some kind of inexplicable (to us at least) insecurity on her part. It makes me feel a little sad for her. I think she is speaking from some deep hurt that apparently she cannot transcend." this makes so much sense, & makes me sad too...& although i envy (which is not quite the right word, its more like aspire to...)her incredible talent & the respect she has among musicians & audience alike (that maybe she doesn't quite believe?), i do not envy much of what she has experienced in her life (except i really really really wanted to hang with all those folks up at mama cass's house!) & she has had her fair share of sorrows... we all know that she has had great outside success but that is not always a blessing as far as how one's inner life goes...i'm sure she has had many who wanted something from her because of the celebrity she is, rather than for who she is as a human... & the unexpressible sorrow of giving up her child for adoption...that is something that could never be completely healed...even as someone who raised her child (pretty much alone), i have deep sorrows & regrets for what i did & did not do & it hurts to know that i can't go back & change a thing, it also hurts so much to think about how my life was such a struggle during the time i was raising him alone & now that my life is so much easier its too late to go back & give him what i wish i could have then...i can imagine joni must feel somewhat that way...if only if only...but how could she know she'd be successful & have the money to be able to raise her daughter...that must haunt her so painfully & deeply... what constantly amazes me is the strength & vision she had back when she was young, when the music biz was much more of a man's world than it is now (& it still is)...& how as a very young woman she was able to carve out her place & manifest her own creative vision...as her fans we see her success & think oh how wonderful...but the road to that success i am sure was filled with much pain & disillusionment...for the music biz attracts the very best & the very worst of humanity...(perhaps this is why i favor her earlier recordings...they have more of the flower child innocence...) and last but not least, to mags who wrote "Losing a child to adoption affects her. How can it not. She wears it like she wears her skin, it is a part of her very soul. It is imprinted into each and every cell. It has to be." thank you for sharing your innermost journey with us all, thanks for your beautiful, eloquent & courageous words...may you all find healing through time... ps, last night i had a dream about joni...she was beautiful, peaceful but kind of tired, maybe after a show or something...we'd been talking & noticing her fatigue, i gingerly asked her if she wanted a neck rub, she said yes, & after that we were great friends...i don't know where she was but she was sitting on a big comfy chair & had a light blue dress on...what a sweet dream... --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.370 / Virus Database: 205 - Release Date: 05/06/02
