In the tradition of Blue, I feel compelled to lay myself on the line and open up about the pitfalls of love, life and romance.
I was listening to Blue, to "The Last Time I Saw Richard," this evening and for some unknown reason started to cry right at the opening piano chord. I was very frightened by this reaction and as the song progressed the emotion got more and more intense. Recently, I suffered the loss of a very meaningful relationship. Not a total loss but a demotion of sorts. I was living with him. I was in love with him. I went through hell with him - he was sent to prison last spring for four months for a crime he commited 18 years ago. The stress, I must tell you, was unimaginable for a 25 year old just starting out on his own - the 25 year old being me. What resulted was a love that was powerful, passionate and all-consuming, but also smothering and filled with anxiety. Just before Christmas we mutually decided to give each other some space. It was a heart wrenching decision to make and extremely sad for both of us. So, as the words of the song progressed, I found myself lost in the aura of the song. The line that really got me was, "Only a dark cocoon before I get my gorgeous wings and fly away." I've felt cocooned for the last few years of my life, unable to really fly but knowing, in my heart, that I am capable of soaring. I yearn for that note of truth in my own life that will steer me in the right direction. The longing in Joni's voice, the pain and the anguish as she sings the word "gorgeous" is like a knife stabbing at a soft heart, giving it scars and toughening it up. The wings will be gorgeous because of their strength, as will the heart that compells them to fly. "The Last Time I Saw Richard" is a song I had never given much thought to until today. Because of my own personal circumstance, it had a resounding clarity to me this time, like I understood in totality the nature of the emotion she herself was feeling. Just listening to Blue and coming upon the song like a gem in a river was such a gift. It's emotional intensity shocked me and spoke to me in a way it had never done before. Imagine a song written over 30 years ago having that kind of impact on a man who wasn't even born when it was recorded. This is the stuff of Joni's legend. -Andrew Yahoo! Mail Plus - Powerful. Affordable. Sign up now. http://mailplus.yahoo.com
