Lori, you are indeed brave to share your experience. Thank you for that. I have to agree that no woman ever chooses lightly, or without regret that an unplanned pregnancy is better terminated early. I do not know any woman that has ever undertaken abortion and not had feelings about it either before or after..
I quote from your letter I was jobless, using myriad drugs and alcohol like an idiot, I reacted to things based on the experience of my home life (drunk and abusive father, angry mother, both of whom could *snap* at a moment's notice), and my coping abilities were immature at best. So I made the decision that I would not bring another life into this world because I wasn't sure the baby would be healthy, and because I couldn't deal with it. Every pregnancy starts with a man and a woman. The circumstances of that conception can be many and varied. Rape and sexual abuse are two such circimstances where a pregnancy is a disaster for the woman (and lets remember that incest/sexual abuse by a relative or un-related person occurs predominantly with under-age girls N.B..GIRLS NOT WOMEN) To find themselves pregnant from an act that is as far removed from "love making" as you can imagine is a double tragedy.... To be forced to have a child that is the result of abuse is a "cruel and unusual punishment". Where genetic problems lead to the certain death of a child it is kinder not to have that child grow from the bunch of cells that it is at 8-12 weeks to a fully developed foetus which will die. To describe something with no sentient brain, no possible viablility if delivered from the womb, no eyes to hear or eyes that could see, nor any lungs to breathe as capable of "screaming in pain" is really pushing the angst a little too far. The higest age group seeking abortion is in the 14 - 18 year age group I am informed........children giving birth to children is not an ideal situation. We can argue that in other countries children become mothers at 12 and onwards and cope. This is true, and where the extended family and cultural heritage prepares girls for this task and they are supported by their relatives. However they give birth in little more than mud huts and the standard of post natal care is minimal. Huge fistulas ( tears between the bladder, anus and vagina caused by birth damage) that leak and create gangrenous ulcers and blood poisoning, often result from young girls giving birth in underdeveloped countries, no matter how culturally prepared their society is to cope with their situation...they then, if they survive are divorced by their husbands for being untouchable and are then ostracised by their communities..... The horrendous state of women's rights to abortion can be seen in Russia where women often have to deliver their (late stage) abortion babies in cubicles and have to clear up after them selves and dispose of the (often still living) child. 26 weeks is considered viable and with enormous amounts of Special Care these children can live...without it they do die...that is inhumane for the child and for the woman... Let's not forget the horror of the Dying Rooms in China where baby girls are bundled together and left to more or less fend for themselves as their lives are not considered important. What is the answer...to abortion? to avoid the need for abortion .... How do we do that? have you got an hour or two? It takes two to make a pregnancy....... but the burden of decision and responsibility on any score falls to the female (of whatever age). I would like to see boys educated properly on their responsibilities and duties to avoid irresponsible, unprotected sex. Participation in gang sex, casual sex, and forced sex is something that is bad... shows they are weak and careless and it does not make them MEN. there should be some paradigm shift to make them think before they "go for it".... Girls also need to have their self esteem raised to understand that saying NO is OK. It is their right. The current and prevailing teen-culture of having as many boys as they can at an early age should be discouraged somehow or if they insist that it is their right (and they are as entitled to argue that point as is anyone) then try to ensure they avoid getting pregnant. Maybe, as money is so important to the youth of today, a No Pregnancy Bounty should be paid to girls and boys who avoid getting into this fix.... Its a thought! We offer them CD's for turning up at school so what can we do to take that lifestyle committment one step further? I would like to see all those who rape and abuse young girls chemically castrated and put away where the world will never see them again. I would like their victims to have a chance to really tell them what they have been put through so that they have no excuse or can claim the girl was "up for it". The same goes for thos who abuse young men too..... (except that young boys do not get pregnant)... the damage done to young boys is terrible leading to long term psychological problems and self harm (in a high proportion of cases anyway). There is not easy answer to this dilemma of abortion. It is not a decision made lightly and neither should those who support it, nor those who are against it take the moral high ground. Every case is individual but maybe for the few women who seem to use termination as their preferred contraception, they should be sterilised.. The ones who are faced with the only possible solution to their turmoil should not be condemned, nor made to feel guilty for taking a decision that ultimately avoids one more unwanted child, and the consequences that that can bring. Apologies for getting on my high horse about this but this is never a straight forward subject... On a lighter note I had to go to a school today to give a talk about Victorian England and street children and at the end one of the children asked me.. "Lucy, did you like living in the Victorians Ages or do you like it better in the Modern World?"....... Ah sweet ....So I made my way to the time machine and here I am ........... Have a good day Lucy NP "Help me" ....... very apt........
