I wrote in the other day about a very very dear friend and the real living hell of him having been born into the wrong body. Gender dysmorphia is NOT ABOUT CHASING A SEXUAL FANTASTY, as Randy Remote <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote.
It is not about a whim of cosmetic irritation with your body,like having a nose job or a tummy tuck.It is not some casual "HMMM wonder what its like to be a woman" idle wondering .... Gender dysmorphia is a real hell for the people it affects. Some of them never make the change, many of them commit suicide, some of them are physically enormous so even if they make the change, are never actually going to look like anything other than large men dressed as women, but with breasts and no penis. My friend is only 5'6" with size 6 feet and very slim, as a man she was not someone who was macho or very masculine but did all the things that macho guys do, car rally, drove buses, a great car mechanic and handi person and that is because (if you read about this condition) the man and women affected try to liveout the role they have been dealt... and they do try hard to live this lie convincingly....THAT IS THE LIE THEY LIVE, the life prior to reassignment surgery, not the life they live after it. Nobody undergoes that sort of surgery on any sort of whim....nor for any sort of sexual fantasy... As a woman, (we met up again yesterday) she is quiet, unobtrusive and utterly feminine. In the time we were friends prior to losing touch and "him" re-emerging as a woman, "He" was a wonderful friend, and great person to spend time with, but so unhappy and constantly trying to be someone that would never be "found out". As a woman, despite having lost the love of his parents and children (but not the support of any of his three ex-wives) she has found peace. We were talking yesterday about the fact that she has found love in the arms of another woman, but she said, "Actually its not about sex... its about acceptance, its about knowing I am loved for the woman I have always been, for the person I really am, and I realise that only women really understand the complexities of the female condition".. BUT PLEASE, understand (those who are in doubt,) this is not some freak show. Its not about SHEMALES or FEMALE IMPERSONATION or GETTING A LIFESTYLE or about pretending to be a woman to get sex from a man its truly about having all the emotional and mental make up of a woman trapped in the wrong body.. Put GENDER DYSMORPHIA into a search engine and read about it properly then maybe you will better understand the real problems that these people face. CAtching up on the digests as I styed with some friends in Wiltshire last night and came back to huge amounts of e-mails...thank you all who wrote.... Lucy Lucy
