Dear Friends,
Please be careful when choosing a witness.
When Grandma went To Court
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'
She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you
were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you
cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their
backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize
you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know
you.'
The lawyer was stunned.
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,
'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't
build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the
worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet
voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the
electric chair.'
