-----Original Message----- From: Alcaneses, Benedict X [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2001 2:37 PM To: George Joseph Fernandes; Reynaldo D. Miranda; Bert Millare; 'Cajetan Mendes'; 'Nap' Subject: BS Wed - Nov 28, 2K1
Everything I know About SUCCESS, I learned from the BIBLE Topic : Building a Lasting Marriage Introduction: All of us work hard to make our marriage meaningful and lasting. We want our marriage that is happy and joyful with a minimum of conflict, pain and struggle. Yet many marriages fail to meet these expectations. Often, the reason can be traced to the fact that the couple overlooked several essential ingredients. Body: The Word of God provides us with a recipe, ten of the essential ingredients for a meaningful marriage. 1. Total Commitment Total commitment to the marriage (union) and to each other is essential for a lasting marriage. The ingredient is reflected in the "CLEAVING " (adhering, sticking, devoted) spoken of in God's description of marriage. God says in , Genesis 2 : 24 - For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave (united - to adhere firmly and closely or loyally and unwaveringly) to his wife; and they shall become one in flesh. Commitment to marriage involves a recognition that marriage is more than just a legal or judicial agreement. But the Bible calls it a "COVENANT" (Proverbs 2:17 ; Malachi 2:14). Marriage involves a vow or promise that makes the obligation binding. Commitment to marriage involves a recognition that marriage was designed by God to permanent until death. " What therefore God joined together let no man asunder - Matthew 19:6) 2. Total Acceptance In marriage we should accept our partner as he or she is. Most of us have had few surprise during our first year of marriage. Give example...... Many couples spend their lives nagging each other about personal habits and idiosyncrasies that they have no power to change. Nagging will never change our partners much. It will only irritate them and make us bitter. Romans 15:7 Wherefore accept one another just as Christ also accepted us to his glory If we have a problem with our spouse, we should make it a matter of prayer. Perhaps the Lord will change us! Not our partner but us, our attitude towards our partner by accepting him/her. We should learn to appreciate the peculiarities of our spouse as evidences of the unique and special individual God has made that person. 3. Loving Communication Underline, Loving communication. Honest communication is better but it should be spoken with love. Ephesians 4:15 - But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow in all aspects in Him. Loving communication lets the truth be known, but it does so in such a way to edify the partner and build up the marriage. 4. Genuine Forgiveness Nobody is perfect. That state of affairs demands a lot of genuine forgiveness in marriage. Let's take the case of Hosea. Gomer, Hosea's adulterous wife actually became a temple of prostitute. Yet God instructed Hosea, "Go again, love a woman who is loved by her husband, yet an adulteress" - Hosea 3:1. It was not easy for Hosea but he sought his unfaithful wife and restored her to himself and to God. Hosea shown here genuine forgiveness. Genuine forgiveness of even the worst sin is not only essential to a successful marriage; it is essential to the enjoyment of God's blessing. God will not bless an unforgiving heart. 5. Role Relationship Their two main roles for spouses in marriage. The husband's role is that of "SACRIFICIAL LOVER" (Eph 5:25). TH wife's role is that "SUBMISSIVE HELPER" (Genesis 2:18) The husband has the authority over his wife, but he is not to be dictator. Nor his wife to be a doormat. The husband is to exercise his headship in love and sacrifice. The wife is to exercise her submission with assistance and respect. Two different roles and yet they are equal like Christ has a role different from the Father, yet they are equal (1 Cor. 11:3) 6. Spiritual Kinship A Christian husband and wife must develop a spiritual kinship - a sense of being co-laborers for Christ with a joint mission in life. Husband and wife work in the vineyard of God as a team effort which will result of developing a ministry together. Spouses need to share in each other's lives and ministries. Praying together, working together, and dreaming together will help build a spiritual kinship and lasting marriage. 7. Growing Friendship Is our spouse our best friend? Friends talk, give gifts and do things together .........(expound). So let us treat our mate as our best friend. 8. Flaming Romance The physical expression of love in marriage union must be viewed as natural, healthy, and wholesome gift of God. Advice : Take time for the marriage bed. Spend a weekend together at a resort hideaway. Study the Song of Solomon with your spouse. These special times are vital to the maintenance of healthy romance with your spouse. 9. Good Humor Solomon declared " A joyful heart is good medicine" Proverbs 17:22). Married couples make mistakes. When they do, they can either laugh or cry together, Certainly there is a time for both. But when as a couple they can laugh at errors in judgement, financial hardships and personal trials they are well on the road to a lasting marriage. Nothing helps more in dealing with turmoil, frustration, and conflict in marriage than having a good sense of humor. 10. Spiritual Rebirth The most important ingredient to lasting marriage is to have Christ at the center of the marriage relationship. He will give strength, direction, balance, and stability to marriage and home life. Christ being at the center, He will make help our marriage successful, joyous, and lasting. -------------------------------- What about Love, Most people think of Love as the most essential ingredient in marriage. Solomon declared in Song of Solomon 8:7 - Many waters cannot quench love, nor will rivers overflow it" The unquenchable love of which Solomon spoke is the sweet fruit of marriage relationship made with proper recipe. Love is the result of growing and working together to develop a God honoring marriage. Conclusion: The ingredients shared tonight may serve as a checklist for evaluating and strengthening our marriages. The ingredients make all the difference. Like in the Story of making Jell-O salad, Kool aid will never substitute for Jell-O. If we have the right ingredients, our marriage can be fulfilling and successful. **************************************************************** This mail is generated from JOYnet, a Jesus Youth mailing list. 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