Hi all, Praise the Lord! Today as I went for the Sunday Mass,my heart was heavy for some reason I didn't know.But after I received Jesus,I felt abundant peace flowing through me.As I knelt down and adored Jesus in my heart,I saw Him seated on a throne...I sat beside His foot and touched His feet and suddenly saw something...the wound...it was for me....suddenly I cried and tears started like a fountain...and then I was aware of the surroundings...I looked through the corner of my eyes and was happy nobody noticed me..... It is so wonderful to cry in front of the Lord......I just remembered what Deepak wrote in his last mail(Title:when i am weak)that God does His masterpiece on one string....I said"Lord,every string of mine is broken,will You still take me?"
When I was at school,I never really believed that God existed.To me,my family mattered,my future mattered,and nothing else really mattered.God was some kind of madeup story for me....you know just like one of those cartoon characters we believed existed and then when we grow up,we realise they were only some weird imagination of someone!After my school life,I came to India and stayed in a Hostel(which was named after Mother Mary)to continue my studies.And there for the first time,I met God....personally.It is a long love story and I will highlight only some points.I had lots of friends but I realised none of them were really sincere.Many kinds of problems started happening in my family.....financial,diseases,joblessness,quarrels,breaking of relationships-all chaos.In my personal life,I couldn't concentrate on my studies,I felt lonely and unwanted and I cried for I had no idea what was happening to me.There was a chapel in our hostel where very few came and one day I went inside it.There inside a small Bible,I found a letter......a letter for me...my first love letter....... It began:My Beloved, I just had to write to tell you how much I love you and care for you..........and it ended like this.....Please call on me soon.No matter how long it takes.I'll wait-because I love you. Your friend Jesus Christ. Hopelessly I fell in Love with God{please take it in the right sense only:-)}and then onwards my life was never the same.There was a song(Naadha neeyente) which touched me deeply,the translation goes like this : If God is mine,why any other wealth, If God knows the pain in my soul,why other consolations If God leads my way,why other paths If God comes with me,why other friends, If God is my aim,why other dreams? The last line struck me like a thunderbolt.I realised that if I put God as my first priority,all my problems will be solved!Till then ,other things were first for me.So I accepted Lord as my best friend. Then onwards,God became my Teacher.I began to understand that Jesus is God.God made me realise that.Whenever I had any other doubts abt Him,I asked Him directly and he would give me the correct answer either through the Bible,other people,spiritual magazines,incidents and visions.Slowly I started experiencing the power and presence of God in my life.Each second I was constantly talking to Him.I experienced Joy,Peace and Hope as I never had before.Storms and cyclones came in my life,But He was in my boat.There was nothing to worry for me,for Lord was with me.I realised He is just not another imagination of some human brain...But He is the powerful Almighty,the Living God.I felt His very presence,I could hear His voice,I could hear His heartbeats,the very sound of His soft breath...God is very real,so real than the persons standing near you or the ones you see.He has a big heart ,from where all the Love of the world flows.Experiencing God is the ultimate experience a human can ever get........ Our friendship was not very smooth though.we call them human weaknesses.sometimes I got so frustrated that I used to say"Lord,please leave me alone,I cannot take you anymore"at those times,He sadly stood silent.but then I realised I cannot live a single second without Him.I always break my promises to Him,but He never failed to be faithful.I asked God"why do we have to pray to Mother Mary" and He took me to the Queen of heaven.I asked"which is your true church"and He showed me the Catholic church.He taught me that The Eucharist is His real Body and Blood. Once I saw this vision during a mass, while I attended a JY gathering:a big blue mountain and a valley...I stood in the valley,I saw Jesus coming to me.....He was like the Good Shepherd-white robe and blue wrapping,holding a lamb on His shoulder....and a big smile on His face....there were many lambs following Him behind.He stopped near me and asked"Will you come with me to the top of this mountain?"I said"Yes,Lord"then I looked at the mountain and saw that it was too huge.I said"Lord,I cannot climb this much huge a mountain unless u r with me." Jesus replied"I will always be with you"Then he stretched out His right hand and I put mine in His,and off we went to the top and was gone beyond the clouds... I thought "OK,so I am going to be a saint or something"But friends,pride always has a fall,so I fell many times,sometimes too weak to get up again.somtimes,I got and then walked in the opposite direction.(I mean,I tried to get rid of Lord from my life)sometimes God asked me to leave certain belongings of mine,which I promptly disobeyed and lost it anyway.sometimes I gave up some treasures of mine,but the Good Lord gave it back to me.(caution:don't give up anything for the Lord thinking you wil get it back-you will only lose it.when we give ,give wholeheartedly) the rest of the story is unfaithfulness,failure to keep my promises,laziness to pray,wanting everything that I pray for,disobedience,guilt,shame,ungratefulness,hatred,........the list goes on and on.I found myself very unworthy to enter Lord's presence.bcoz I did not pray like everybody did,I failed to fast for good causes,spoke ill of others,did not see my neighbour as Jesus saw him/her,was unable to share Jesus to anybody,never did any good thing to anybody..............you know I even stopped intercessory prayer bcoz I thought anyway God will not hear me,a sinner.He has lots of worthy people around Him,people who really seved Him to the last word. so here I was,all strings broken...... But today as I sat at His feet,Jesus said,"I still love you.My love for you will never change.You can still come to me,you are not unworthy,because I paid for all you unworthiness." I said"Lord,my boat is empty,no wealth,no treasures,no catch,old and worn out.Will you still receive me?" He replied,"Come to me and I will fill you with my LOVE.Go and pour this LOVE to the lost ones" I came from church with a lighter heart. It was very comforting to know that Lord receives all of us,loves us and cares for us even when we don't.Let us pray: Lord,I am unworthy to receive you,But when you give you word,I shall be healed.Amen. Yahoo! Mail Plus - Powerful. Affordable. Sign up now. http://mailplus.yahoo.com =============================================================================== This mail is generated from JOYnet, a Jesus Youth mailing list. For more info on the list visit http://www.jesusyouth.org/joynet To unsubscribe from the list send a mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] To subscribe to the list visit http://www.jesusyouth.org/joynet/join In case of any issue related to the mailing list contact [EMAIL PROTECTED] ===============================================================================