Dear JYs I am not yet married, but would like to share my views ...I am assuming that we are speaking of falling in love in the context of looking for a marriage partner ...
If I decide based on emotional assent, is it falling in love? If I make my decision after intellectual consent, am I avoiding the pitfalls of 'falling in love'? (Wo)Man is an integrated whole...comprising body, mind and spirit. If acting on emotions alone is wrong, then merely consenting with one's intellect could also be wrong. To expect only the intellectual part of me (or my that of my parents)to consent and expect not a stir from my emotions is to stoically deny that God has given me an endocrine system as he has given me a digestive or nervous system. To be swayed only by emotional highs without using my mental faculties is to make a decision as reliable as the shifting sands. What is needed is a balance of all our faculties - in this way we make a decision of a human being fully alive in the glory of God (St Ireneaus). It is like...my mind says 'Compatible, good family, suitable educated, sipritual , a JY " :-) etc.. My feelings say 'Wow, it feels good , happy to be around with him, her., lots of peace..etc". My will says 'Im going ahead and making the decision'.. This may not happen in every case but we need to remember that we are human beings holding a divine treasure and not purely spirit in nature .. What is most important is that we find the partner of God's choosing...the one in this perfect will for us. To me the question of falling in love is not the main one...It is how prepared I am ; spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically to receive the person God has chosen for me..an then, if I do fall in love with her/him, I am falling in love with the one God has chosen....who can question that? .Irrespective of how I meet her/him - courtship varies across cultures and God is 'broadminded' (to put it in human terms) enough to allow for such variations - whether I fall in love or not, God needs to be at the center of my decision making if I want to have a successful marriage.. Of course, we need to be careful to avoid lust and sexual aberrations etc and the examples of selfish and lustful encounters that we have in most movies The biblical examples ( Isaac and Rebecca Gen 24; Jacob and Rachel Gen 29; Ruth and Boaz Ruth 2 ; Tobias and Sarah Tob 7 ) do not happen in the same stereotyped fashion... they all happen differently..BUT , the common thread that runs thru is that all of them lived in the will of God. And that made finding their partner easier. So, rather than take a radical stance on falling in love, there seems to be a much broader perspective, where all the faculties of the individual are involved in choosing a partner after much prayer and seeking after the will of God.. Love and prayers, Christopher Chennai, India Wilson Thomas wrote: > Pradeep, > > You are absolutely wrong. Falling in love before marriage is wrong, either > for flesh, or for whatever divine relation we call it. I can show you > hundreds of youngsters believing in these and get cheated. The "right" for > God is not the "right" we choose, but He choose. He choose not as we think, > but through "OTHER" right persons in right time. If we choose like modern > society, we will be changing it every now and then. That is where the > "Spirit of the World" will guide us through. Please dont get cheated... If > we are lacking love in our life, don't borrow it from the street, but get it > abundantly from Jesus. > > If you think that a girl is chosen for you, get married first with the > permission of your guardians and Church. Then love her with whole your > heart. Anything outside that is adultery. If not, we don't need such a > divine sacrament called marriage. ONLY by this sacrament two flesh becomes > one. > > Praise the Lord > > Wilson Thomas > Singapore > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "PRADEEP GEORGE" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > To: "JoYNet" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Sent: Sunday, February 16, 2003 10:53 PM > Subject: [JOYnet] RE::Valentine's day..is it ok to fall in love ? > > > I think there is nothing wrong in falling love with some one. > > > > But > > >"young people are so much encouraged and pressurized to somehow fall in > > > love even at the risk of making a wrong decision and regretting it till > > the > > > end of our lives . " > > > > This is not the right ..no doubt... > > Love is divine.But only for the sake of saying " i too have an affiar" > is > > not the right way .... > > > > Ofcourse there is some one whom Jesus has selected for all of us from > > the very beginning.And he will reveal whom it is at the right time.We > > need not ry to know it before that , I think. > > > > We can (and we should) pray for the person whom God have selected for us > > from eternity .FOr that we need not know who it is... > > > > We had a preist , who taught us to pray for our future life partner. that > > was during the catechism classes in our tenth standard. > > I belive it is the right way and i do remember his words during all > pray > > times. > > > > Finally ,deepak has asked for advice from married people in the > group.Anyway > > I am not falling into that category.Still just wanted to tell my views on > > this matter. > > > > regards and prayers > > > > pradeep george > > thrissur. > > > > > > > > > > > > ----- Original Message ----- > > From: "deepak" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > > To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > > Sent: Sunday, February 16, 2003 9:51 AM > > Subject: [JOYnet] Valentine's day..is it ok to fall in love ? > > > > > > > Dear Bros & sis > > > i have a question for all of u . do u think it is alright > for > > > young people to fall in love ?.be coz of this situation now ..valentines > > day > > > is so commerciallised that it would seem a tragedy to have no one with u > > on > > > Feb 14 th ..no one to give a card ..etc... > > > so now young people are so much encouraged and pressurized to somehow > fall > > in > > > love even at the risk of making a wrong decision and regretting it till > > the > > > end of our lives . so Guys what do u suggest ??? > > > what would Jesus want us to do in such a situatu\ion ...would jesus like > > us to > > > fall in love with some one?..is there some one Jesus selected for us in > > the > > > very begining ..if there is how will we know?...what are the factors > which > > any > > > young person should rethink if he or she find herself to be attraced to > > wards > > > someone? > > > i really don't know how many young people are in this group but i > > certainly > > > know there are many married people in this group ..think u can enlighten > > us > > > with your experience?.... > > > luv deepak > > > trivandrum india > > > > > ============================================================================ > === > > This mail is generated from JOYnet, a Jesus Youth mailing list. > > For more info on the list visit http://www.jesusyouth.org/joynet > > To unsubscribe from the list send a mail to > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > To subscribe to the list visit http://www.jesusyouth.org/joynet/join > > In case of any issue related to the mailing list contact > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > ============================================================================ > === > > =============================================================================== > This mail is generated from JOYnet, a Jesus Youth mailing list. > For more info on the list visit http://www.jesusyouth.org/joynet > To unsubscribe from the list send a mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] > To subscribe to the list visit http://www.jesusyouth.org/joynet/join > In case of any issue related to the mailing list contact [EMAIL PROTECTED] > =============================================================================== =============================================================================== This mail is generated from JOYnet, a Jesus Youth mailing list. 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