Lesson number one
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.  A small rabbit saw the
crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"  The
crow answered: "Sure, why not."  So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the
crow, and rested.  All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate
it.
Moral of the story is:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high.

Lesson number two
A turkey was chatting with a bull.  "I would love to be able to get to the top
of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."  "Well, why
don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.  "They're  packed
with nutrients."  The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually
gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.  The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.  Finally after a
fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was
promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson number three
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.  The brain said,
"I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."
The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to
where he wants to go."  The hands said, " We should be the Boss because we do
all the work and earn all the money."  And so it went on and on with the heart,
the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.  All the parts
laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss.  So the asshole went on
strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes
became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began
to panic and the brain fevered.  Eventually they all decided that the asshole
should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the
work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral of the story:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.



When I don't take Beano
I can't stop farting

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