Hope this doesn't offend anyone - it was received by DH from a friend in the
US.
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve An Arkansas Murder:
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
You'll know yours is a redneck church if.......
1. The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a
chandelier because none of the
members know how to play one.
2. People ask, when they learn tht Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two
fish were bass or catfish and what
bait was used.
3. When the pastor says "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the
collection" and 5 guys and 2 women stand up.
4. Opening weekend of deer season is considered a church holiday.
5. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck
because.."It aint never be in a hole it couldn't get out of.
6. The choir is known as the "OK Chorale"
7. Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine communion.
8. In a congregation of 500 people...there are only seven last names in
the church directory.
9. Baptism is referred to as "branding"
10. There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.
11. Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
12. High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
13. People think"rapture" is what you get when you lift something too
heavy.
14. The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized washtub.
15. The choir robes were donated by (and embroided with the logo from)
Billy Bob's Bar-B-Q
16. The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 chevy.
Jean in Poole
To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
