Wow! Some jokes (maybe real stories??) that I don't remember seeing on chat already ! Sue Babbs
[EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going > > to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, > > rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and > > began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed > > that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong > > one. > > - -Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX > > > > At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope > > on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's > > anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. > > "Yes, they used to be," remorsefully replied the > > patient. > > - -Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA > > > > One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I > > told a wife that her husband had died of a massive > > myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, > > I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he > > had died of a "massive internal fart," > > - -Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada > > > > I was performing a complete physical, including the > > visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty > > feet from the chart and began: "Cover your right eye > > with your hand." > > He read the 20/20 line perfectly. > > Now, Left," I said. > > Again, a flawless read. > > "Now both," I requested. > > There was silence. He couldn't even read the large > > letter on the top line. I turned and discovered that > > he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing > > there with both his eyes covered. > > I was laughing too hard to finish the exam. > > - -Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA > > > > During a patient's two week follow-up appointment > > with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, > > that he was having trouble with one of his > > medications. "Which one?" I asked."The patch.The nurse > > told me to put on a new one every six hours and now > > I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly > > undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. > > Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! > > Since incident, the instructions now include removal > > of the old patch before applying a new one. > > - -Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA > > > > While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, > > I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a > > look of complete confusion she answered "Why, not for > > about twenty years -- when my husband was alive," > > - -Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR > > > > I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, > > "So, how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very > > good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to > > get used to the taste," the patient replied. I > > then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced > > a packet labeled "KY Jelly." > > -Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI > > > > A new, young MD when doing his > > residency in OB,was quite embarrassed performing > > female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had > > unconsciously formed a habit of whistling The middle > > aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam > > suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed > > him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, > > "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No, > > doctor, but the song you were whistling was 'I wish > > I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.' " > > To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
