Kathy E <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes:
SQUALL LINE: California's coast is being hit hard by storms blamed on
the "El Nino" ocean current. Locals can hardly hear a weather report
without being told El Nino is at work. The phone rings a lot at Al
Nino's house. Nino, who is listed in the telephone directory, says
people call at all hours. "It's always something like, 'Why are you
doing this?'," Nino says. While the retired Navy man doesn't enjoy
being awakened in the middle of the night, "I usually joke around with
them a bit," he says, telling callers he controls the weather because
"I didn't really have nothing else to do." (AP) ...There are no dumb
questions, just dumb people asking questions.
HELP WANTED: Lauren and Ashton Mills know their mother is dying of
cancer. The 10-year-old twins from Oxford, England, not wanting to be
placed with a random foster family when the time comes, have advertised
for a new family in the local newspaper. "Kids and dog for hire," the
ad in the "Situations Vacant" category read. "Life term contract."
However, the girls aren't interested in pity. "Sad gits need not
apply," the ad warns. Thousands of people have responded. (Reuters)
...If they're anything like the typical people who reply to singles
ads, don't bother, kids!
WHEN YOU'RE FORCED TO SEND THE VERY BEST: York, Pa., Common Pleas Court
Judge Sheryl A. Dorney wants to be sure that Leroy Howard Murray Jr.
thinks about his crime now and then. Murray, who pleaded guilty to
stealing a car stereo, was ordered to send the judge a birthday card
each August 21during his 23 month probation, as well as pay restitution
to the victim. (AP) ...Your honor, here's your birthday greeting /
Better by mail than face-to-face meeting / There is no gift, just this
two-bit card / I'm only sending it to avoid time that's hard.
CENSUS: Doctors in Mexico caused an international news flurry when they
announced recently that a woman was pregnant with nine babies. Later,
the publicity fury lessened when they said no, it was seven. Cristina
Hernandez has now given birth -- to six babies, all in good health.
(Reuters) ...In the U.S., most doctors can accurately count up to 10 --
20 if they take their shoes off.
TINY BUBBLES: The Kloster brewery in Neuzelle, Germany, has introduced
beer concentrate specifically for bathing. Four three-quart bottles of
concentrate, at $22 each, when mixed with water, fill a 32-gallon tub.
The biggest difference between the bath beer and the regular variety is
the yeast has been left in, which is "soothing to the skin" and a good
treatment for eczema, the brewer claims. And, "You can bathe in it, or
drink it," he said. "Whoever wants to can do both." (AP) ...Best of
all, it makes the bath drown-proof: the deeper you go, the higher you
get.
YES, DEAR: If you want your marriage to be successful, forget trendy
communication methods like "active listening", says John Gottman of the
University of Washington. Psychologist Gottman and his team studied 130
newlyweds and compared them with long-married couples to see how they
handled disagreements. "We found that only those newlywed men who are
accepting of influence from their wives are winding up in happy, stable
marriages," Gottman said. (Reuters) ...While their research results
didn't support this conclusion, they were afraid not to write what their
wives told them to.
MINUTEMAN: Senator Edgardo Angara, running for vice president of the
Philippines, was out shaking hands with voters to drum up support in
the upcoming elections. But when Angara thrust his arms into the crowd,
one of the voters pulled his watch off his wrist and ran. (AFP)
...Turnabout is fair play.
EXPANDING MARKET: London International Group has announced a joint
venture with China to provide condoms to the world's most populous
country. China already produces 1.2 billion condoms per year, but
that's only enough output to provide one to each citizen per year.
However, a spokeswoman said, flavored condoms, which are popular in
Asia, are not part of the deal, even though "mint condoms go down well
in Southeast Asia." (Reuters) ..."Go down" being a technical term in
that business.
POT SHOT: When Verline Stiffic was asked to come to the office of
Brinkley Middle School in Jackson, Miss., because her 15-year-old son
was caught with marijuana on campus, she was apparently very unhappy.
"She went into the school and started talking to her son," a police
spokesman said. "Apparently, the conversation didn't go very well so
she pulled out a gun and shot at him." She missed, and has been
arrested. (AP) ...He wouldn't believe her when she said using drugs
could kill him.
THE OTHER BERKLEY: Police in Berkley, Mich., say that during lunch,
"dozens" of students would walk to a house near their school to smoke
marijuana and buy pot from two teenaged boys that lived there. After
the raid, police talked to the boys' mother, who was apparently
unconcerned with the activity in her home. "It's OK," she told police.
"I was raised in the '60s." She was arrested too. (UPI) ...Same trap,
different mice.
WASN'T THAT THE GENERAL IDEA? "Man Dies After Life Support Removed" --
AP headline
--
Kathy E
"I can only please one person a day, today is NOT your day, and tomorrow
isn't looking too good for you either"
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