Linux-Advocacy Digest #145, Volume #30 Thu, 9 Nov 00 17:13:03 EST
Contents:
Re: Into the abyss of the WinTroll mind ("Aaron R. Kulkis")
Re: Spontaneously Crashing Sun Server Coverup ("Ayende Rahien")
Re: Aaron R. Kulkis - Who is this guy? ("Aaron R. Kulkis")
Re: Into the abyss of the WinTroll mind (Mike Raeder)
Re: Aaron R. Kulkis - Who is this guy? ("Aaron R. Kulkis")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Aaron R. Kulkis" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: Re: Into the abyss of the WinTroll mind
Date: Thu, 09 Nov 2000 16:42:14 -0500
[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
>
> On Fri, 10 Nov 2000 02:35:14 -0500, Mike Raeder
> <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> >Angular Turnip wrote:
> >
> >> Bill Gates should include a free copy of Linux along with every copy of
> >> Windows he sells because once people try Linux for the first time, there
> >> will never be a second time. Linux in and of itself is the best reason
> >> to not use it.
> >>
> >> Linux is just plain complicated and lame.
> >
> >Blah, blah, ad. nauseum. It's the same win-troll rubbish with that
> >can be answered with the same "You're just too fscking stupid to use a
> >computer" answer.
>
> >If these people want help, they shouldn't be so offensive. WinTrolls
> >want to complain about Linux, but they need to grow some netiquette
> >and add an "IMHO" in their posts somewhere.
> >
> >Let's delve into the WinTroll mind-set. If they're having
> >so_much_trouble with Linux, just imagine the typical WinTroll dealing
> >with things other than Linux....
> >
> >Guns
> >WinTroll: What!?! I bought the gun, and I bought the bullets,
> >whaddaya mean I have to load the gun!?! Okay, so I loaded the gun,
> >and you know what, it ran out of bullets.
>
> Linux version: The gun comes in 200 pieces none of which works well
> with each other and you have to read 2000 pages of documentation in
> order to assemble it.
>
> Then you discover that the bullets are not supported but they do give
> you a form to exchange it for a bow and arrow.
>
> >Cars
> >WinTroll: Cars Suck! I took the car, shifted it into drive. And you
> >know what happened? It went forward and slammed into a wall! Why do
> >they have a "drive" gear if it's not going to drive for you!?! That's
> >why buses rule and cars suck! Cars are just too complicated!
>
> Linux version:
> How the hell do I turn this thing on? Oops I guess
> I forgot to install the "turn on package" which includes the ignition
> and key. Oh well good old RPM will help me...If I can find it that is.
> Oh RPM is locked in the trunk? Shit I need that key thingie again....
>
> >Fishing
> >WinTroll: I have to put bait on the hook!?! I read how you do it, but
> >it's too complicated. Why can't hooks come with bait on them?
>
> They do. They're called lures..
>
> Linux version: What do you mean I have to grow my own earth worms?
>
> >Food
> >WinTroll: I ordered a big steak. And you know what? I couldn't fit
> >it in my mouth. I complained to the waiter and he said I had to cut
> >it myself. Steaks suck!
>
> Linux version: The waiter hands you a plate, pan and a pile of meat
> and you get to cook your own.
>
> >Ballroom Dancing
> >WinTroll: I can't believe that people would do this. The waltz is so
> >lame. First off, you have to keep counting "1,2,3", and to make it
> >more complicated you have to move your feet, then you end up stepping
> >on your partners feet. This should just be easier.
>
> Linux version: You get to count in binary. 0001, 0010, 0011 and so
> forth.
>
> >Grocery Shopping
> >WinTroll: Grocery stores are such crap. I've been going over there
> >every week for *years*. And to think that they could figure out what
> >I want, put it in my trolley, and deliver it to me.
>
> It's called a telephone. And yes here in the USA they DO deliver.
>
> claire
All of this discussion about Microsoft renting apps with .NET
got me to thinking...what are we facing if, in fact, Microsoft
does start renting apts???
Microsoft Apts 2000
WINDOW
No apartment may ever have more than one window. Residents might
forget which window they were looking out of and get confused.
The window will be open, all the time, even in the dead of winter,
because marketing discovered that most people want the window open.
APARTMENT SNAPSHOT TRANSMISSIONS
When you arrive home each day, a security camera will photograph you,
and send a picture to Microfoft Headquarters. It's for your own good.
LOOK AND FEEL OF YOUR APARTMENT
Residents are not be allowed to change the curtains, nor hang blinds
in the window. Microsoft has already provided the most popular
window. Shut up and be thankful you have a window.
THE BLUE LIGHT OF DEATH
Some times, you may find all of your normal lights have shut off
and your entire apartment is suddenly filled with a blue light,
with a strange message is written on the wall, like "Illegal Fork
in Virtual Device 0x0BEDB00F." This indicates that a rodent or
ghost in your system has died...or maybe not...actually, we don't
know. Don't bother to call the manager, he won't know why, either.
Simply leave your apartment, come back in, and usually, the lights
will come back on. If the lights don't go back on, you can always
try having replacement furniture delivered, as that seems to help.
Nobody knows why this shit happens, but you should consider normal.
[Why??? Because if we've kept your head filled with low expectations
for this long...why should anything change now?]
APARTMENT FORMAT SERVICE
If your lights STILL do not come back on, management provides a
Format service. When a resident requests Format C:, a man with
a flame thrower will come to your apartment, and incinerate the
entire contents. After the flames die out, you can begin reinstalling
your apartment, You can install new copies of your old furniture, and
everything will be just like before, only better, because that arm
off the old couch--you remember the one that your nephew accidentally
removed...it will be back when you re-install your couch. Not only
that,
but all of those old photo albums and billing records and stuff...you
really don't need all of that old clutter around, anyway.
Also, it is improper to put anything away in the usual fashion.
For example, if you get a suit back from the cleaners, just wad
it all up in a ball, and throw it into he middle of the room.
The jacket, might, for example, end up on a chair, and the vest,
hangingon your sink faucet and your pants in the dishwasher. If you
have a game...NO PROBLEM...just throw the box up in the air, and
the board, and all the cars and pieces will land SOMEPLACE. The
point is...you don't have to worry about that right now!
When your apartment gets too cluttered, simply call management to
come defragment your room. Be careful not to move anything while
management is defragmenting your room, or they will have to start
the entire process all over again. We advise going shopping for
more furniture for your apartment.
PARTITIONING YOUR APARTMENT
Although it is possible to "partition" your apartment, by reducing
the size of the C: room to make rooms D:, E:, F:, etc... Microsoft
advises against it. Why do you need unnecessary walls in your
apartment? Microsoft advises having everything in one big room
Everything....the kitchen sink, the refrigerator, your bed,
your medicine cabinet, even your toilet. One big room, with
one window and your Microsoft curtains. That's all you need!
TRASH
Also, every Microsoft apartment has an expandable dumpster.
When you put some object, like, the toaster your little brother
broke and you had to re-install.... the OLD, broken toaster can
be conveniently stored in the dumpster in case you want to get
it back again. As time goes on, you might notice that your
apartment is getting smaller and smaller. Actually, that' not
the case...when you put something into the Microsoft dumpster,
it actually stays in your apartment, and so, with time, your
trash can keeps getting bigger and bigger, filling up a larger and
larger portion of your apartment. So, if you ever want that stupid
old broken toaster again....even months later....just look in
your dumpster, it's still there, right inside your apartment.
ELECTRICITY
All electrical outlets conform to the Microsoft Plug-1 API. The Plug-1
API uses only ONE terminal; the other electrical contact is a ground
strap which you attach to the metal floor with screws. In a few years,
the Plug-4 specification will be released. Plug-4 sockets will be
fully backwards compatible with Plug-1 appliances, but slight
increases in blown fuses will be a risk.
AIRWAYS EXPLORER
The 60Hz wave will be processed by Microsoft Power electrical
converters. Power(tm) converters will make sure that critical
harmonic frequency components (120Hz, 180Hz, 240Hz, etc.) will
be boosted to proper levels all the way into the Megaherts range.
Any interference with the resident's personal radio or tv set
purely incidental, and is not evident of any malicious intent
against residents who insist upon not using our fully integrated
Microsoft Airways Explorer 5.0.
STRUCTURAL INSTABILITY
Of course, it goes without saying that like all residences Microsoft
Apartments 2000 are built in an earthquake zone which lies on a flood
plain in the middle of a tornado alley along the path of Atlantic
Hurricanes. That's just a fact of life of having a building to live
in. Just remember, Microsoft Apartments 2000 are 50 times more stable
than Microsoft Apartments 98. Our current estimated uptime for a
Microsoft Apartment is 90 days between structural collapses.
Don't worry though, Microsoft Deckscan will search through the
ruble of your apartment and reposition most things for you.
All broken objects, or those which have fallen out of various
drawers will be neatly lined up by the front door, and placed in
gift-wrapped boxes with tags reading "Object001._DD" "Object002._DD"
and so on. That way, even if an important screw from your somewhere
inside your dishwasher falls out, you know EXACTLY where it is...
right next to your front door.
SCRIPTING
The use of scripting, such as user-programmable microwave ovens is
strongly discouraged. However, for a mere $300, you can buy a
microwave that cooks chicken, and for another $200, you can buy a
another microwave that thaws meat properly. If you want a microwave
with a temperature probe, THAT will cost you $700...but it won't be
able to cook chicken nor thaw meat properly.
RENTER MAINTENANCE
Even though Microsoft Apartments are completely intuitive, and
don't need any maintenance, some users like to purchase Norton
Janitors, or Norton Janitorworks 2000. NJW has neat things, like
a Norton Doctor, which tells you how much space you've used in
your apartment, and what day it is, and how cluttered and
disorganized you are.
APARTMENT MAIL SERVICES
Recently, Microsoft has invented a new communications technique
called "mail" Microsoft MAIL allows you to send and recieve objects
to/from other apartments. Allegations that Microsoft purposely
installs in our Apartments(TM) substandard sheetrock that harbors
and sustains viruses found in mail--usually originating from
pakistan and isreal, is, in fact, a blatant falsehood. Microsoft
Apartments are completely protected ag ...ahg...ahg...ahchoo!
POWER RENTERS
You will see many owners of Microsoft Automobile. This family of
products is easily identified by the use of Polygon Technology.
Microsoft Wheel 2.0 has 8 sides and 8 corner, and Microsft Wheel97
has 20 sides and 20 corners.
Microsoft has discovered that increasing the number of sides and
corners of a Wheel increases its stability and reduces the likelihood
of control-difficulties that lead to crashes.
Microsoft WheelsPT*
Rolling Resistance (Ergs/Meter)
| #
| #
| #
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| \
| |
| \
| |
| \
| \_
| \___
| \______
| \_________
| \_______________
| \_____________
|
+--+----+-+----------+---------+---------+---------+--------+
0 3 8 10 20 30 40 50 60
A B C D
Polygonality.
(Sides + Corners) / 2
As can be seen in in the graph above, wheels using large numbers
of both sides and corners are the most efficient.
Microsoft Wheel 1.0 (B) used an 8-sided polygon, as this is the
break-even point and further investment in more sides could not be
justified on cars and trucks with limited resources typical of that
time. By increasing the number of sides and corners to 20 each in
Microsoft Wheel 2.0 (C) rolling resistance has been cut in half.
Microsoft Wheel2001 (D) will feature 60-sided wheels, for a further
reductions in road noise, vehicle vibration and both driver and
vehicle metal fatigue.
Other auto-part suppliers may tell you that a tire only needs one side,
and zero corners. Such tires, however, are very cheaply made, AND
very costly to use. Viewing the graph above, one can see that the
rolling resistance approaches the Y-axis asymptotically, which means
that 1-side + 0-corner lie at the extreme left end of the graph.
(1 + 0)/2 = 1/2. Our research show that below a polygonality value
of 7, rolling resistance rises sharply. Other manufacturers'
wheels have a polygonality of ONLY ONE-HALF(!!!!) and thus, have
tremendously high rolling resistance.
Additionally, circular tires give drivers less control. With
Microsoft WheelsPT, the full flat side of a Wheel(tm) makes contact
with the road surface as it bumps down the highway, giving the
driver very high traction. In contrast, round tires give road
contact on only an extremely small part of the tire.
Also even parked cars with circular tires are dangerous! Other
manufacturer's automobiles which don't use "Polygon Technology"
require the use of an additional, difficult to use gadget called
"brakes." Microsoft feels that the use of circular wheels is
extremely dangerous, because if the user forgets to use the brake
after parking, the damn thing might roll away!
To protect all Microsoft Apartment 2000 residents, Microsoft prevent
the use of these dangerous automobiles NOT equiped with safe Microsoft
Wheels(tm) by Microsoft Apartment residents or their guests and their
visitors, All parking spaces have 3-foot tall steel pillar in the
middle of the parking space. Non-conforming automobiles will not be
able to park; but Microsoft Automobiles have a special channel
allowing your car to be safely parked in the parking space.
Improperly parked cars will be towed and crushed.
FRUIT TREES
Microsoft Apartments all feature Microsoft FRUIT trees. Microsoft has
conducted extensive research into this subject, and determined that
everyone prefers fruit based on Delicious technology. Anybody spreading
unfounded accusations that Microsoft Delicious is a poor implementation
of the Macintosh technology can hash it out with our lawyers in
Microsoft COURT(TM).
_
/ \
| |
\_X Someone told me about HOUSES--isn't that a better deal?
^
/_\
/ \ Rumors that some Linus guy and his friends are practically
giving away land, upon which you can build your own house are to be
taken with a bag of salt. Besides, houses are old technology.
Sure, you can have multiple people in your house at the same time,
and the toilet and cooking areas are in seperate rooms, and there
are usually individual bedrooms for keeping your own stuff while
still sharing the house with other people in your family, and a
nice big yard that's all your own, and a basement to store stuff,
and everyone can share the stereo but...who needs all that
oldfashioned stuff when you can have Microsoft APARTMENT with the
Microsoft WINDOW! If you buy a house, then you have to plant your
own trees. Do you know how expensive it is to hire someone to plant
an acorn!?!? Not only that, but in a house, there is no gardner to
mow your lawn at 3:00 in the morning, providing you with a nicely
fresh-cut lawn when you wake up, either that, or you must hire a
gardner yourself, and have fun trying to find one who is willing
to come cut your lawn at 3:00 AM! At Microsoft, we've solved that
problem for you, so you can a good night's sleep, every night.
_
/ \
| |
\_X Doesn't that HOUSE system have less bugs?
^
/_\
/ \ Rumors of bugs in Microsoft Apartment 2000 are
[STOMP!] highly exagerated.
Microsoft
Where do you want us to go today?
--
Aaron R. Kulkis
Unix Systems Engineer
ICQ # 3056642
http://directedfire.com/greatgungiveaway/directedfire.referrer.fcgi?2632
H: "Having found not one single carbon monoxide leak on the entire
premises, it is my belief, and Willard concurs, that the reason
you folks feel listless and disoriented is simply because
you are lazy, stupid people"
I: Loren Petrich's 2-week stubborn refusal to respond to the
challenge to describe even one philosophical difference
between himself and the communists demonstrates that, in fact,
Loren Petrich is a COMMUNIST ***hole
J: Other knee_jerk reactionaries: billh, david casey, redc1c4,
The retarded sisters: Raunchy (rauni) and Anencephielle (Enielle),
also known as old hags who've hit the wall....
A: The wise man is mocked by fools.
B: Jet Silverman plays the fool and spews out nonsense as a
method of sidetracking discussions which are headed in a
direction that she doesn't like.
C: Jet Silverman claims to have killfiled me.
D: Jet Silverman now follows me from newgroup to newsgroup
...despite (C) above.
E: Jet is not worthy of the time to compose a response until
her behavior improves.
F: Unit_4's "Kook hunt" reminds me of "Jimmy Baker's" harangues against
adultery while concurrently committing adultery with Tammy Hahn.
G: Knackos...you're a retard.
------------------------------
From: "Ayende Rahien" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Crossposted-To:
alt.destroy.microsoft,comp.os.ms-windows.advocacy,comp.os.ms-windows.nt.advocacy
Subject: Re: Spontaneously Crashing Sun Server Coverup
Date: Thu, 9 Nov 2000 23:42:32 +0200
"Les Mikesell" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote in message
news:tOyO5.15194$[EMAIL PROTECTED]...
>
> "Ayende Rahien" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote in message
> news:8uecpr$84v$[EMAIL PROTECTED]...
> >
>
> > Honsetly, I can't tell.
> > The point is that with win2k, you don't relay on one/two machines for
> > anything.
> > If one machine fail, then the other ones takes its place, seemlessly.
> > And Win2K can cluster just as well as Solaris, and be remotedly
> administered
> > almost as well.
>
> Note that you pay several thousand extra for the Advanced Server version
> on every box for this capability, plus some exotic hardware if you
> want them to see the same disks. Don't give the impression that
> normal Win2k has cluster capabilities.
How much is this in regard to the cost of sun's big servers?
------------------------------
From: "Aaron R. Kulkis" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: Re: Aaron R. Kulkis - Who is this guy?
Date: Thu, 09 Nov 2000 16:44:52 -0500
Jake Taense wrote:
>
> I can't believe how many posts he's responsible for...
>
> If you're reading this, Aaron - please answer:
>
> You claim to be a UNIX Systems Engineer.
>
> Is that an Engineer in the same way as an MCSE is an Engineer (i.e. not an
> Engineer at all)?
I studied Computer Systems Engineering at Purdue University, approximately
60 credit hours of Computer and Electrical Engineering, and another
20 credit hours of Computer Science.
>
> If it is vendor-based, what certification do you possess to qualify as an
> "Engineer"?
>
>
--
Aaron R. Kulkis
Unix Systems Engineer
ICQ # 3056642
http://directedfire.com/greatgungiveaway/directedfire.referrer.fcgi?2632
H: "Having found not one single carbon monoxide leak on the entire
premises, it is my belief, and Willard concurs, that the reason
you folks feel listless and disoriented is simply because
you are lazy, stupid people"
I: Loren Petrich's 2-week stubborn refusal to respond to the
challenge to describe even one philosophical difference
between himself and the communists demonstrates that, in fact,
Loren Petrich is a COMMUNIST ***hole
J: Other knee_jerk reactionaries: billh, david casey, redc1c4,
The retarded sisters: Raunchy (rauni) and Anencephielle (Enielle),
also known as old hags who've hit the wall....
A: The wise man is mocked by fools.
B: Jet Silverman plays the fool and spews out nonsense as a
method of sidetracking discussions which are headed in a
direction that she doesn't like.
C: Jet Silverman claims to have killfiled me.
D: Jet Silverman now follows me from newgroup to newsgroup
...despite (C) above.
E: Jet is not worthy of the time to compose a response until
her behavior improves.
F: Unit_4's "Kook hunt" reminds me of "Jimmy Baker's" harangues against
adultery while concurrently committing adultery with Tammy Hahn.
G: Knackos...you're a retard.
------------------------------
From: Mike Raeder <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: Re: Into the abyss of the WinTroll mind
Date: Fri, 10 Nov 2000 06:54:15 -0500
[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
> >Realistically, if you don't like Linux, why don't you just go play in
> >some MS group?
>
> Because I like to watch people like you squirm when Linux is exposed
> as the junk that it is.
Squirm? Nah. Tell you that you're full of rubbish or lacking too much
in clue? Yes.
> If it weren't for people like me, the public might be mislead by the
> lies and half truths about linsux that substitute for fact around
> here.
You great avenger for the people, you. You can't even install
Mandrake properly on a laptop. What makes you think that you're any
sort of authority on Linux?
You want to talk about lies and half truths, go check out some
mindcraft benchmarks. Maybe that will give you a crusade.
Are you Bill Gates? :) Or do you have stock in micros~1?
I've been running Linux for years and have had no problems. I've had
problems with WinXX and think that it's crap, but I don't troll the
Windows groups. I'm not going to rant about what (IMHO) a dead dog of
an OS that WinXX is, but I've got uptime on my Linux boxen that I've
never had on a couple of NT/SQL servers.
Don't *even* get me started on licensing cost and management.
--
My Australian Shepherd is smarter than your honor student
------------------------------
From: "Aaron R. Kulkis" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: Re: Aaron R. Kulkis - Who is this guy?
Date: Thu, 09 Nov 2000 16:45:41 -0500
"Clifford W. Racz" wrote:
>
> "Jake Taense" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote in message
> news:[EMAIL PROTECTED]...
> > I can't believe how many posts he's responsible for...
> >
> > If you're reading this, Aaron - please answer:
> >
> > You claim to be a UNIX Systems Engineer.
> >
> > Is that an Engineer in the same way as an MCSE is an Engineer (i.e. not an
> > Engineer at all)?
> >
> > If it is vendor-based, what certification do you possess to qualify as an
> > "Engineer"?
> >
> >
>
> And why don't you loose the long signature file? It is annoying.
....Especially to the malevolent in-duh-viduals named therein.
--
Aaron R. Kulkis
Unix Systems Engineer
ICQ # 3056642
http://directedfire.com/greatgungiveaway/directedfire.referrer.fcgi?2632
H: "Having found not one single carbon monoxide leak on the entire
premises, it is my belief, and Willard concurs, that the reason
you folks feel listless and disoriented is simply because
you are lazy, stupid people"
I: Loren Petrich's 2-week stubborn refusal to respond to the
challenge to describe even one philosophical difference
between himself and the communists demonstrates that, in fact,
Loren Petrich is a COMMUNIST ***hole
J: Other knee_jerk reactionaries: billh, david casey, redc1c4,
The retarded sisters: Raunchy (rauni) and Anencephielle (Enielle),
also known as old hags who've hit the wall....
A: The wise man is mocked by fools.
B: Jet Silverman plays the fool and spews out nonsense as a
method of sidetracking discussions which are headed in a
direction that she doesn't like.
C: Jet Silverman claims to have killfiled me.
D: Jet Silverman now follows me from newgroup to newsgroup
...despite (C) above.
E: Jet is not worthy of the time to compose a response until
her behavior improves.
F: Unit_4's "Kook hunt" reminds me of "Jimmy Baker's" harangues against
adultery while concurrently committing adultery with Tammy Hahn.
G: Knackos...you're a retard.
------------------------------
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