Lines flapping or dropping packets is classic
problem for streaming / interactive comms,
downgrade is to use file xfer tools.

Beware commercial services regarding cryptoprivacy.
There are lot of tools for creating crypto private lans,
anon nets, over IP to add that layer to standalone
opensource apps where needed.

If just low bandwidth, try testing point-to-point on lowest
rate/quality codec option settings first, don't need 4K HDR
just to talk and hold newspaper pages in front of camera.
If at least one peer can handle being a hub, or threat model
allows to rent some cheap shell host, then conference options
open up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_instant_messaging_protocols
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_cross-platform_instant_messaging_clients
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_VoIP_software

Tox, Jami, Matrix, Signal, Jitsi, Wire
FreeSWITCH, Jingle Protocol

Some people play with those, there are many tools,
see what fits, have fun.

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