----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, June 04, 2003 1:33
PM
Subject: The world is full of
idiots...
Let me relay to you one of the weirder arguments
I just encountered..
On my way through Acton this afternoon, I stopped
by the grocery store to pick up some lunch stuff. Normally, the deli
staff is fine, but the short bus must have dropped off one of the employees
today.
Deli worker: Hi, can I help
you?
Me: Yes please, can I have half a kilo of black
forest ham?
(note, I weigh 225 lbs, I have no idea how
many kilos that is. I order my meat in kilos or grams, I have no idea
what a pound of meat looks like. Chalk this up to the education
system of the 70's).
DW: Sliced or shaved?
Me: Shaved please.
(she cuts the meat, hands me the
package. I have Sabrina on my shoulders, who insists on holding the
package. I finally look at it, because it doesn't look like half a kilo
to me, and return to the deli counter).
Me: 'Scuse me, I ordered a half kilo of
ham, shaved, and this is a quarter kilo (278g, to be precise),
sliced.
DW: Oops, sorry.
(she takes the package, and starts to cut
some more ham, shaved. Finishes, hands it back to me).
Me: Sorry, that's still only 275g of
ham. Could you add some more? I'd like half a kilo please.
(she looks at me like I"m from outer
space)
DW: That IS half a kilo.
Me: (......pause....). How
do you figure?
DW: Well, a kilo is 454.
Me: 454 what?
DW: You know, 454, uh...., so half that is
about 275 (actually, 227, but what's 1/20 kg among
friends)
Me: 454 grams? (not quite sure I
heard her right. Now I've realized that I'm dealing with a deli store
worker, in Acton, who is struggling with grade 2 math
concepts. How do I handle this gently, without insulting her, or making
her feel stupid.)
Me: Um, sorry, my mistake. I thought a
pound is 454 grams. A kilo is 1000 grams.
DW: No no, it's OK. 1000 grams?
That'd be like, a LOT of meat! (holding her hands wide
for effect)
Me: Ri-i-i-ght. Well, typically, a
kilo refers to 1000. Like a kilometer is 1000 meters. So half a
kilometer is 500 meters. So, half a kilogram is 500 grams.
DW: (pauses...I can see the wheels
clunking. Think they need some grease). Sorry, we don't measure
product in kilograms. Only pounds and grams.
Me: (..one eyebrow raised...).
Okay then. May I have 500 grams of blackforest ham, shaved,
then?
DW: 500 grams? Sure thing. (and she
gets it right)
Not quite sure what happened there, but it
certainly serves to reinforce my long-held notion that the Acton gene pool
needs some chlorine...
..Cameron
