Hi, two suggestion if I'm not too late already:
1.) The first sentence is too long: Please stop it after "platforms" otherwise people with low attention will stop reading right there. 2.) "includes" sounds strange. Why not just remove it? The paragraph then reads: "GNOME 2.14 is the latest version of the GNOME Desktop; a popular, multi-platform desktop environment for Linux™, UNIX™ and other platforms. Based on Free and Open Source Software, GNOME provides all of the common tools computer users have come to expect of a modern computing environment, as well as a flexible and powerful platform for software developers." Cheers, Claus On Thu, 09 Mar 2006 12:46:51 -0800 Bob Kashani <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > On Thu, 2006-03-09 at 14:28 -0600, Jonathon Jongsma wrote: > > On 3/6/06, Davyd Madeley <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > Ok guys and gals. I am announcing a preliminary draft of the release > > > notes for 2.14. We now require proof readers for spelling, grammar and > > > technical correctness. > > > > > > > In the very first paragraph, change: > > "GNOME comprises of both a desktop and developer's platform" > > > > "GNOME comprises both a desktop and..." > > I changed it to "GNOME includes both a desktop and developer's > platform..." > > Bob > > -- > Bob Kashani > GARNOME Project > http://www.gnome.org/projects/garnome > > -- > marketing-list mailing list > marketing-list@gnome.org > http://mail.gnome.org/mailman/listinfo/marketing-list > -- marketing-list mailing list marketing-list@gnome.org http://mail.gnome.org/mailman/listinfo/marketing-list