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latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-goldberg-gays-20101228,0,1493653.column
latimes.com
Op-Ed
As gay becomes bourgeois
With 'don't ask, don't tell' repealed and gays seeking marriage
equality, the homosexual bourgeoisie is emerging --- a concept
subversive to both liberals and conservatives.
Jonah Goldberg
December 28, 2010
So now openly gay soldiers get to fight and die in neocon-imperialist
wars too?
David Brooks saw such ironic progressive victories coming. In his book
"Bobos in Paradise," he wrote that everything "transgressive" gets
"digested by the mainstream bourgeois order, and all the cultural
weapons that once were used to undermine middle-class morality ... are
drained of their subversive content."
Two decades ago, the gay left wanted to smash the bourgeois prisons of
monogamy, capitalistic enterprise and patriotic values and bask in the
warm sun of bohemian "free love." And avant-garde values. In this, they
were simply picking up the torch from the straight left of the 1960s and
1970s, who had sought to throw off the sexual hang-ups of their parents'
generation along with their gray flannel suits.
As a sexual lifestyle experiment, that failed pretty miserably, the
greatest proof being that the affluent and educated children (and
grandchildren) of the baby boomers have reembraced bourgeois notions of
marriage as an essential part of life. Sadly, it's the have-nots who are
now struggling as marriage is increasingly seen as an unaffordable
luxury. The irony is that such bourgeois values --- monogamy, hard work,
etc. --- are the best guarantors of success and happiness.
Of course, the lunacy of the bohemian free love shtick should have been
obvious from the get-go. When Michael Lerner, a member of the anti-
Vietnam War "Seattle Seven," did marry, in 1971, the couple exchanged
rings made from the fuselage of a U.S. aircraft downed over Vietnam and
cut into a cake inscribed in icing with a Weatherman catchphrase, "Smash
Monogamy."
Today Lerner is a (divorced and remarried) somewhat preposterous,
prosperous progressive rabbi who officiates at all kinds of marriages
--- gay and straight; and, like pretty much the entire left, a big
supporter of repealing "don't ask, don't tell."
The gay experiment with open bohemianism was arguably shorter. Of
course, AIDS played an obvious and tragic role in focusing attention on
the downside of promiscuity. But even so, the sweeping embrace of
bourgeois lifestyles by the gay community has been stunning.
Nowhere is this more evident --- and perhaps exaggerated --- than in
popular culture. Watch ABC's "Modern Family." The sitcom is supposed to
be "subversive" in part because it features a gay couple with an adopted
daughter from Asia. And you can see why both liberal proponents and
conservative opponents of gay marriage see it that way. But imagine you
hate the institution of marriage and then watch "Modern Family's"
hardworking bourgeois gay couple through those eyes. What's being
subverted? Traditional marriage, or some bohemian identity politics
fantasy of homosexuality?
By the way, according to a recent study, "Modern Family" is the No. 1
sitcom among Republicans (and the third show overall behind Glenn Beck
and "The Amazing Race") but not even in the top 15 among Democrats, who
prefer darker shows like Showtime's "Dexter," about a serial killer
trying to balance work and family between murders.
Or look at the decision to let gays openly serve in the military through
the eyes of a principled hater of all things military. From that
perspective, gays have just been co-opted by the Man. Meanwhile, the
folks who used "don't ask, don't tell" as an excuse to keep the military
from recruiting on campuses just saw their argument go up in flames.
Personally, I have always felt that gay marriage was an inevitability,
for good or ill (most likely both). I do not think that the arguments
against gay marriage are all grounded in bigotry, and I find some of the
arguments persuasive. But I also find it cruel and absurd to tell gays
that living the free-love lifestyle is abominable while at the same time
telling them that their committed relationships are illegitimate too.
Many of my conservative friends often act as if there's some grand
alternative to both the bohemian or the bourgeois lifestyles. But there
isn't. And given that open homosexuality is simply a fact of life, the
rise of the HoBos --- the homosexual bourgeoisie --- strikes me as good
news.
jgoldb...@latimescolumnists.com <mailto:jgoldb...@latimescolumnists.com>
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