So today I sat in as 3rd trumpet on a concert my wife
was playing. Unpaid, volunteer gig. I have a tux,
and don't charge, so even though I kinda suck I still
get asked to dance once in awhile...
_Anyway_, there I am, in my tux in the parking lot going to
swap one trumpet for another, as I had to hurry to our concert
band's dress rehearsal immediately after the concert, and
I _need_ the other horn.
Only the heap's trunk won't unlock. I had been rear-ended in
the snow a month earlier, and while the car was knocked back
together, and the trunk opened and closed just fine, I had
never locked it since the accident. Well, it _locked_ just
fine, but would not unlock.
So I'm about to be late for the dress rehearsal, and I only
have a C horn. Mind you, I only _have_ a C horn because
I basically can't transpose. The conductor of today's
concert was there, and was the musical director of the
school it was held at. He had a spare Bb cornet in the
band room. "I don't know when it was last played.
There's no mouthpiece. But you're welcome to borrow
it."
Well, I figure it's a step up from 'nothing', and just
has to be better than me flailing around on C, so I grab
it and dash off to the next school. Which I find, only
there are no unlocked doors. After a trip around the
building, gathering up other lost souls, we eventually
found the one door with a stooge, who had wandered away
for awhile. In we all go, they're starting to play already.
So much for a little recovery time.
I hold my T mouthpiece into the cornet, a Conn Victor,
and it doesn't blow. At all. I look, and find that
the #1 and #2 slides are swapped. That's not a good
sign, I swap them back. I then check the valves, and
yes, somebody has swapped #1 & #2. I put them back.
#2 promptly binds, it's not working right. And the
horn is still blocked. I look down the bell, somebody
has thoughtfully rammed a marble down there! I can't
shake or blow it out, I think this horn is done for
the day!
Fortunately my stand-mate had brought her new old
Conn/Wurlitzer Bb/C cornet along for show and tell.
And a cornet mouthpiece. We had to find the stooge
again, and go out to the parking lot to get it. I
played that the rest of the rehearsal, trying to dial
in the (as-yet unknown) tuning, figure out which HP/LP
slides were what was needed, etc. It was fairly grim,
she was still in the middle of polishing it, and
figuring out how it went together. I don't think
she had really played it at all yet. I think I just
played it _way_ more than she had. Unfamiliar horn,
unfamiliar mouthpiece, didn't even have time to tune
it, except on the fly. Oh, and my solo's coming up
fast. Ugh.
Sigh. And my trumpet is still locked in the trunk.
I have other horns, but I could really use the music
for the concert, and I'm supposed to return it then.
I will drill into it in the morning, I guess. My
good horn, music, and good leather coat are still
trapped in there.
I think the settlement amount with the Insco just
went up.
-- Jim
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