The people from the former french colonies (N and W Africa) are quite
different from the folks from former Brit colonies. (east Africa)
Curt Raymond via Mercedes <mailto:mercedes@okiebenz.com>
August 2, 2016 at 10:17 AM
Thats also a great story!
Some years ago I worked with a Nigerian guy, Alfred, here in the US.
He was a nice guy but always kind of odd. For instance at one point he
came to me wanting to buy a video camera. I figure Alfred wanted to do
some work so I showed him my camera but, he wanted something "cheap,
but with really good low light". Turns out he wanted to videotape the
women he had sex with "in case they accuse me of something." In
another case Alfred's laptop "got stolen" from the trunk of his car in
Montreal. We all figured he got robbed but never could get the story
out of him.
He got laid off and a couple years later resurfaced in Nigeria, he
emailed me asking me to buy him a couple copies of Photoshop for which
I would be "richly rewarded". I couldn't believe he was trying that
one me of all people and politely declined. I've never heard from him
again...
-Curt
From: Curley McLain via Mercedes <mercedes@okiebenz.com>
To: Mercedes Discussion List <mercedes@okiebenz.com>
Cc: Curley McLain <126die...@gmail.com>
Sent: Monday, August 1, 2016 10:34 PM
Subject: Re: [MBZ] Top Nigerian Scammer Arrested
That is a great Story! It bears preserving for posterity!
When I was on grad school, one of my friends was from CA, and another
from Zimbabwe. At a conference in LA, We decided to rent a car and
have Jim, the CA boy drive us around. So we went to Venice beach and
some other places, then went to the fufu mall (i forget the name) in the
Hollywood/rodeo drive area. Since the guy from Zimbabwe always walked
like he was a king, and spoke the Queen's english like a Windsor, (and
he was maybe 45+) we designated him to be, for the mall purposes, King
Onward of Mandebvu. We became his entourage. The schtick was that he
would look regal and say little or nothing, other than to order us
around, or to critique the merchandise, which we'd have to "interpret"
for the clerk. So we'd walk into one of these fufu mall stores and the
King would look all snooty. Jim or I would explain to the clerks that
this was King Onward and they should bow or curtsey. It was quite
entertaining. In fact it was the best entertainment of ANY trip I have
been on.
After we left the mall we laughed so hard we could not stand. The
"king" was about as low key as your guy, a professional University
Professor from before Zimbabwe melted down.
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Curley McLain <mailto:126die...@gmail.com>
August 1, 2016 at 9:34 PM
That is a great Story! It bears preserving for posterity!
When I was on grad school, one of my friends was from CA, and another
from Zimbabwe. At a conference in LA, We decided to rent a car and
have Jim, the CA boy drive us around. So we went to Venice beach and
some other places, then went to the fufu mall (i forget the name) in
the Hollywood/rodeo drive area. Since the guy from Zimbabwe always
walked like he was a king, and spoke the Queen's english like a
Windsor, (and he was maybe 45+) we designated him to be, for the mall
purposes, King Onward of Mandebvu. We became his entourage. The
schtick was that he would look regal and say little or nothing, other
than to order us around, or to critique the merchandise, which we'd
have to "interpret" for the clerk. So we'd walk into one of these
fufu mall stores and the King would look all snooty. Jim or I would
explain to the clerks that this was King Onward and they should bow or
curtsey. It was quite entertaining. In fact it was the best
entertainment of ANY trip I have been on.
After we left the mall we laughed so hard we could not stand. The
"king" was about as low key as your guy, a professional University
Professor from before Zimbabwe melted down.
Floyd Thursby via Mercedes <mailto:mercedes@okiebenz.com>
August 1, 2016 at 7:25 PM
Some years back the company I worked for, for reasons never
particularly clear, decided that we needed to do some business in
Africa. I think it had something to do with the fact that the
president/founder of the company, who was Indian by way of London, got
wrangled into some trade delegation the state had organized to go to
Africa for "business development." There weren't a lot of black
company owners so they figured this guy would do. Anyway, at some
point we ended up hiring this Malian guy, who was a really nice guy,
to be our consultant in trying to get bidness going somewhere in
Africa. I thought this a complete waste of time and money, and it
ended up being so, but no one listened to me so off we went. Since
our guy spoke French we concentrated on Cote d'Ivoire and Gabon, I
think we ended up with maybe $25k in bidness after spending at least
that much on travel and bribes, er, "consulting fees," and whatever.
I never went there but my boss did, and loved it.
This Malian guy had been living in the US for some time, and pretty
much hated Africa, any part of Africa, because of the corruption,
violence, poverty, kleptocrats, etc. He was very politic in his
expressions of his opinion, but he hated Africa in general, and
Nigeria in particular. One day over lunch he told me this story of
the last time he had gone there, he had flown there from Bamako (his
family home) after a visit. Some relative of his was a big shot
general in the Malian military, which was probably like being the
sergeant in charge of the motor pool in some medium-sized American
community, but whatever, this guy was connected. So our guy bums a
general's uniform from him to go to Nigeria, with all the medals and
stars and gold stuff, and shoulder brushes, the big hat and all that
stuff. He got some other guy to come with him, probably some other
cousin or something, dressed in a regular soldier's uniform, to be his
gofer and bag carrier, kinda completing the whole image. No parrot on
his shoulder though.
He gets to the airport there, and rather than the usual shakedown
given to other Africans, he starts yelling at the customs guys, the
guards, the airport staff, etc. in French as soon as he gets off the
plane, waving his stick around, berating his gofer, walking along like
he owns the place, the whole package. He said it was great, no one
gave him any trouble, no shakedowns, no "fees" and such, he got right
through. He had his client organize a big limo for him to go from the
airport to the hotel, to look like a big shot too, and changed clothes
in the car so he wouldn't draw any more attention once he cleared the
airport. This was all pretty funny as this guy was about as quiet and
professional as someone could be, but in the act he was a tyrant. He
said it was a lot of fun.
He heard later from his big shot rel that the Nigerian military were
all bent that they didn't know this distinguished visitor was coming,
and had been calling the Malian military to find out who the hell he
was, what he was doing there, and why he never surfaced. They all
thought the whole deal was pretty funny as they hated the Nigerians too.
--FT
G Mann via Mercedes <mailto:mercedes@okiebenz.com>
August 1, 2016 at 6:28 PM
Compared to Nigeria and Africa in general... USA politicians are rank
amateurs.
When I was in Nigeria last [3 yrs ago] the price for having someone killed
with a machete was $20.00 cash... if you wanted them shot, you had to buy
the gun and the killer got to keep it, so cost was higher... maybe
$150.00. Or, at your option, you could have the "offending party" captured
and sold into slavery, never to be seen again. The slaver takes a double
fee, one from you, one when the "slave" is sold.
Anyone in office had their hand out, or an assistant pushing a wheelbarrow
to carry the bribe demanded. with armed guards.
We are so civilized we can't imagine such things happening.
Mercedes are however very popular with elected officials there, armored
versions in particular.
On Mon, Aug 1, 2016 at 3:00 PM, Mountain Man via Mercedes <
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Mountain Man via Mercedes <mailto:mercedes@okiebenz.com>
August 1, 2016 at 5:00 PM
Oh.
So... they are the people running our election process fiasco?
mao
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