----- Original Message ----- 
From: "R A Bennell" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>

>I know it is only Thursday but there is not much traffic on the list. Here
>I sit in my office bored and looking for
> distraction.....snip

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INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance,
particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated
flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then
installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs
4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply
crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.
.......................................................
DEAR DESPERATE,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment
Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command:
ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget
to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed,
Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0
and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer
6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download
the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law
1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize
control of all your system resources.) Also do not attempt to reinstall
Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash
Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does
have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might
consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support


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