When I read the post yesterday about the dancers (guys...) who are
late because they're having fun flirting I immediately thought of one
fellow at one of our local dances. Then Chris writing about a "hot
shot" was a very different picture. The fellow I thought of does
this dreamy kind of doe-eyed dancing/flirting and when I follow him
down the set just about every woman he dances with arrives late,
often because she's having to disentangle herself from his dreamy
allemande or whatever figure. I don't know what can really be done
about that... the power of the dance organizer is somewhat limited,
and besides, I wouldn't want everyone to be just perfect, because
then when I'm in a playful mood (which is not infrequent) I might
have to overly restrain my impulses!
I remember years ago someone saying to me, "Every woman who leaves
dancing with you has a smile on her face.", which may or may not be
true, but it's stuck with me as a measure of when a dance is going
well... if people are smiling and laughing, the particulars of how
the dance is going really doesn't make too much difference.
Stephen Moore
Lenox, MA Contra Dance
On Jan 29, 2008, at 8:14 AM, Chris Weiler wrote:
Hi Jeffrey,
The name that I've been using for this type of dancer is "hot
shot". For
them it's more about showing off and flourishes than community. Having
danced for a while now, I'm convinced that most people go through this
stage before they move on to being more of a community dancer. I'm
guilty of spending some time dancing like that, too.
My interpretation of the phrase "only here to have fun" leads me to
think that they are more commenting on feeling pressured and lectured
about their dancing. Maybe if they were approached with more positive
approach. "I would have enjoyed our dance more if you had been on time
for the balance." "It's such a thrill when you help me get to the
right
person in time for the next move."
I'm getting a little humorous, but I think that I'm making my point.
Make the comments about how we personally experience their actions and
not about doing it "wrong" and it could get a whole different
reaction.
Maybe I'll take some heat for this, but I believe that there are very
few "bad" dancers in this world. There are only people who haven't
practiced enough to learn what good and bad dancing means. It just
takes
some people longer than others to learn the lessons. They deserve our
patience and some straightforward feedback.
I would love to hear other people's thoughts about this as well.
Chris Weiler
Goffstown, NH
P.S. You didn't miss any previous posts. I compiled some interesting
e-mails from the Caller's list and sent them to this one.
[email protected] wrote:
i've seen a few replies recently talking about dealing with
certain types of
"bad" dancers. (perhaps i am not receiving some posts, since i
didn't see
the originals that were being replied to). i am interested in hearing
comments on a particular type of "bad" dancer. i am referring to
people that
can be depended on to be late and/or confused about the next step,
but NOT
because they suffer from some physical infirmity, and NOT because
of lack of
experience. they may have been attending dances for months or
years. it is
because they seem to be more interested in flirting with partner
then in
paying attention to the dance. they are the type that if spoken to
about
their lack of paying attention will excuse themselves by
explaining that
they are "only here to have fun". of course, fun for them means
less fun
for those dancing near them.
comments?
Jeffrey
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