Solfege, Narcissus Solfege http://www.alansondheim.org/twang1.jpg http://www.alansondheim.org/twang2.jpg Da da da.. da da da da da ra ra ra ra ra da it's not a?a LA da ra da da da da ba ba na DE LA sa it's not a sorry Gama padanisa sari Gama PA Johnny's South become my part on this sorry I got my part anisa sorry for my part I'm sorry, it's sorry, part on the Saudi Gama PA da Nissan da Isla sorry I got my pot on this it's already got my pot on you sorry cona con hobby sorry God I'm lot I doubt sorry God my so I got my gum I got my gum Sorry gum I sorry gum sorry gum sorry gum I gum sorry gum I'm sorry I'm a Sarah zaragama saldanisa sarigama Sarah Gandhi sasori Gama padanisa sauregama padanisa sauregama paryou saw sari Gama pardon Lisa sari Gandhi a parnassit's the partner seeder sorry Gama part on the suck is papa donissa sorigama pop big on my PA Donnie song It's all sorry gum hot on is Johnny so sorry God is saureka maldonado Madonna saw sorrow Sorry Gama PA song it's a sorry Goma PA Donnie saw you Narcissus write Echo for Themselves http://www.alansondheim.org/narcissus.jpg This is this morning for me . I wouldn't know where to begin . Too many people I know are going through mental difficulties, are suffering, are dying, more people I know are hurting themselves just in the act of waking. I don't know whether it's possible for everyone to get help from everyone . Many of my classmates have already died from high school . From college I remember many and know very few now. I wonder why when I'm dictating this sometimes there is a break between the end of the sentence and the period and sometimes there is not a break but the two are run together . Do I have to speak faster to ensure that my life lasts longer ? Is this not something which is already played round as if in a centrifuge going over and over the same grounds which is a sign of neurosis, and insanity karma ? Or should that be more or less taken for granted granted . Should I sing this . What happens here is the dictation fails me and when it fails me my speech itself my thinking drops away into the abyss. Should you never read this you will have read this you wake every morning . I wake every morning thinking of inconceivable loss. I pull myself together and work on a text . Sometimes the images bring me back to life because they take on a world of their own leading everyone outside of themselves. Despair knows no grounds. Despair circulates within itself will send in neural networking of the brain going round and round endlessly , ceaselessly , without a moment's rest. My thinking becomes derailed. COVID has derailed all of us . I load in this dictation the COVIBlock that out . I note in this dictation that COVID is already capitalized that the new world a new word has it entered into this almost like a virus attacking language itself . Language is not a virus. Language kills but in other ways. There is always a cry in the dark, always the last whimper always alastor reaching out , alas site . I last memory struggling to make itself felt before the darkness descends. When we're younger we always think that there is a bridge to the future and that we will be able to accomplish wonders including a better understanding of everything around us . When we get older we realize there is no understanding. What we are faced with always already is the incomprehensible. How boring I write now . How trite . How boring. I wake up crying in the midst of the incomprehensible. We are slated to travel across the country and visit good friends and those who are suffering . so much of this has been canceled out . i write period and say period i write period and wrong period . the world ends in anguish . Is it difficult or impossible to feel sorrow for everyone ! Is sorrow even possible? Is an exclamation mark the same as a question mark ? Can I exclaim in sorrow that anguish is inconceivable ! The life goes out of the life and flames and this is written for people I know now who have passed away or people I knew then who have passed away . Sometimes it's a word from afar. As I grow into that, afar approaches and the _a_ of Sanskrit attaches itself to everything and everyone I know . I would have attached my failures here, the loss of good friends who have given up on me, the deaths I know from afar , the difficulty of just rising in a waning sun . But those good friends are gone ; still alive and having deserting me are having wonderful times I no longer dream of . Alas this is a fiction is it not ? Tell me good new news . ___ _______________________________________________ NetBehaviour mailing list NetBehaviour@lists.netbehaviour.org https://lists.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour
