RED NEWS - THE FIRST UNITED FANZINE - http://www.rednews.co.uk
Apologies for service problems today - see item 25. Will be sorted and better than
ever soon. Please continue to send your stories and suggestions in to:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
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[26] That Celtic shirt
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Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
That Celtic shirt that's causing all the trouble (thanks Tony):
Can be seen here:
(link:http://216.10.26.211/kit/) http://216.10.26.211/kit/
Outrageous armpits - like Nina/Neneh (how d'you spell it? You must remember "99 Red
Balloons"? Just me again? )
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[25] Break in service
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Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
Apologies for the break in service today. Our web host - apparently the biggest in the
UK - went down - well their "core router" so they tell us.
Is anyone still awake?
OK - well if it wasn't bad enough with half the RN team on the lash in Valencia and us
stuck here - but then the service goes up the spout ...... and we're still having
problems with the email sendout.
But are we letting it get us down?
[Yes]
Will we be back with a vengence pumping you full of news tonight and tomorrow.
[Oh, alright then]
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[24] Rent Boys game stats
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
Possession
Us 52% Them 48%
Shots on target
Us 4 Them 3
Shots off target
Us 10 Them 4
Corners
Us 8 Them 3
Fouls conceeded
Us 10 Them 15
Offside
Us 0 Them 3
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[23] Transfer fiasco pt 78960605
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
Players' representatives have walked out on talks with Fifa and Uefa over proposals
for a new soccer transfer system.
The failure to find an agreement means Fifa and Uefa have no consensus proposal to put
on the table for a key meeting with the European Commission on Friday.
Currently, teams must pay transfer fees for a player unless his contract has expired
and he is switching from one European Union nation to another. The European Commission
has described the system as illegal.
Negotiations have been bogged down over contract stability and rules for the transfer
of players.
After an hour of discussions at Fifa headquarters in Zurich, Philippe Piat, vice
president of players' association FIFPro, said: "We decided we'd had enough. We're
leaving the meeting. I'm not optimistic.
"In their minds they want to change nothing. They are trying to put same position in a
different way."
Fifa and Uefa continued their talks after the player representatives walked out.
Fifa spokesman Andreas Herren said: "We need to see what kind of strategy to take now.
We must still meet in Brussels on Friday."
It's a tough life
---------------------------------
[22] Clapped out?
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
A mother and daughter who raked in a fortune running a chain of upmarket brothels have
walked free from court but at a price.
Helen Franks, 61, and Samantha Herbert, 32, were each conditionally discharged (as
apposed to the discharge that their clients may have experienced afterwards) for 12
months but were ordered to hand over £105,000 of their "ill-gotten gains" within 12
months or face almost certain imprisonment.
But Judge says:
"What you did was against the law. Had you been convicted in circumstances where it
was proved that under-age girls were being used as prostitutes, you would have been in
for the high jump.
Sounds like he may have been all too familiar with their services!
---------------------------------
[21] Bergkamp misses out on more Airmiles
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
And can't even take advantage of the 'tax free' shopping as the Scout master leaves
him at home to fiddle with his woggle by himself
---------------------------------
[20] Furious back peddling dept
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
Valencia midfielder Miguel Angel Angulo does a Mandelsson
"A part of what I said last Friday has been taken completely out of context," Angulo
said today. "Perhaps I was mistaken in the wording of what I said, but what I meant to
say was that in the last game between Valencia and Manchester United there was not the
same intensity as there is likely to be on Wednesday.
"The last time the two teams met a draw was enough and so without being conscious of
the fact neither side was prepared to take risks in the game.
"But I have to reiterate that there was absolutely no form of agreement between the
two sides to draw the game as has been suggested in the press in Spain, France and
England this weekend,".
Those pesky internet sites eh!
---------------------------------
[19] Utd deny Becks deal done
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
"Suggestions that he has signed a deal are premature. We have not concluded the deal
with David Beckham."
---------------------------------
[18] Injury updates
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
As Teamtalk claims that
Fabien Barthez returns for United on Wednesday after a hamstring injury ruled the
French star out of Saturday's Premiership clash with Chelsea.
For the second time this season Rai van der Gouw found himself in goal against the
Londoners and the points were shared, as they were in the 3-3 draw at Old Trafford
back in September.
Sir Alex Ferguson was stunned to learn Barthez had injured a hamstring during training
on Friday and did not know his first choice keeper was doubtful until shortly before
the players set off for the flight to London.
He had earlier declared a full squad at his disposal with Paul Scholes fit after
cracking a rib and Nicky Butt free from a one match suspension.
He should be able to say the same thing tomorrow as United fly out to Valencia with
Barthez expected to take over in goal once again.
It is the third time the Frenchman has been forced to hand the gloves to van der Gouw
since he arrived from Monaco in the summer.
Barthez was out for three games in September because of a back injury, and last month
pulled out of the FA Cup tie against Fulham after going down with flu.
United are expected to take a big squad to Spain with Andy Cole available for the
European game despite being banned from Premiership football.
Cole starts his thee match suspension on Wednesday and because of FA Cup dates and a
weekend kept free for internationals, will not play a league game until March 31.
---------------------------------
[16] And speaking of Anoraks
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
An exhibition marking the cultural significance of the anorak is on at the British
Museum until 27 May. Claims that RN contributors have been asked to lend exhibits have
so far proved unfounded
[17] Frank Stapleton on our Spanish Inquisition
"I think Manchester United would be happy with a draw, as they did on the last
occasion last year but it's a very difficult match away from home. With six points
already in the bag they can afford not to be as offensive as they normally would be,
looking to sit and soak up some pressure."
Valencia have lost back to back home games recently in crunch Spanish league clashes
with Barcelona and Real Madrid so Manchester United are likely to feel they can get
something from the Mastella Stadium.
" They've got a good chance of getting a draw there because Valencia's home form has
not been so good and they've lost their last two league games at home in La Liga so
its a difficult situation for them.
" But the Champions League is different and it gives teams a little bit of a respite
and sometimes teams can lift their game for the really big ones."
There won't be a repeat of their historic 1999 treble. West Ham saw to that with a
shock victory in the FA Cup fourth round at Old Trafford. However, this could prove to
be a blessing in disguise as now Alex Ferguson can concentrate on his side's Champions
League campaign.
" They are one of the strongest teams in Europe and definitely one of the favourites
for this competition. With their strength in depth and the quality of player they have
in the squad, of course not forgetting the fifteen point lead, they can actually
afford to give players rests and get them well prepared."
---------------------------------
[15] Meanwhile Rio says - I'm just a glory hunter
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
"At no point have I ever thought I might have made the wrong decision,"
"I came to Leeds because I wanted to win honours and I wanted to be part of a
successful team. When they sold Leeds United to me, you could see the determination to
succeed in the faces of the chairman and the manager. That convinced me I wanted to be
here. I loved West Ham but I wasn't convinced I would win things at the club. Here, I
am.
"Winning the championship. Winning the the Champions League. International success
with England. All these things are important to me. And the time for people to judge
me is at the end of my career when they can look into the Ferdinand trophy cabinet and
see it full or empty (you don't need Mystig Meg to forecast which of those options is
the more likely!). If I finish football with no honours, with no medals in that
cabinet, I will look on myself as a failure. I won't need other people to tell me."
Don't worry mate - we'll let know just in case no-one else can be arsed
---------------------------------
[14] Nora still Batty
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
Those surgical support tights have finally taken their toll
"Rio Ferdinand has been doing a brilliant job at the back for us," (Quite agree given
the sheep's form since his arrival!)
"Recently the gaffer and Peter Taylor compared him to Franco Baresi, and obviously
that is a great compliment.
And complete and utter bolloxs
"I have never really watched Baresi play, but I know Rio is a good player. You never
realise how good someone is until you see them in training every day.
"Rio is just class. He is unbeatable in one-on-ones (that's not what those women said
in Aya Napia last year), and I know he has got the better of a load of strikers this
season to the extent that they have just jacked it in against him because he is so
tough to get past."
Nurse, more sheep dip for Mr Batty
---------------------------------
[13] Vive la revolution !!
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
Thanks to Lee for the following post Rent Boys encounters
After a good drink and a quality second half fightback by the shirts, we thought we'd
had a good day. To stumble across Suggs in a pub after the game was seen to be the
icing on the cake. "Go on, f*** off back to Surrey you Manc b******s" with that
trademark cheeky smile. Still got it fella.
But then, imagine my complete surprise a few minutes later whilst walking up to the
next pub, I turned round to see one of our group talking to an incredibly tall bloke
(and I mean TALL) who just happened to be a certain Paddy Harveson.
Not only did he agree to come for a pint with us, he insisted we go to a real pub, not
a plastic bar and proceeded to buy us all a round "they pay me enough don't they, I'll
get these in." to which we wryly replied "well, we do pay your wages Paddy, cheers,
you can get them in."
What followed was a 45 minute question session about all things United.
Fergie's retrirement, Becks at United, Becks contract, Harry Harris (quality
comments), journos in general (him good, him bad) the FA, McClaren, Edwards, his Red
Army credentials, Ali Ryan etc etc
At one point he took a call on his mobile from a journo looking for a quote about the
breaking Valencia 'fix' 'sensation' nonsense. A masterclass in saying nothing when
there's nothing to say. We all know it's just another silly United story anyway.
To say we were impressed would be an understatement and while we are savvy enough to
know that Paddy is our PR pointman and cynical enough after years of MUplc, we just
couldn't escape the fact that Paddy seems a genuine bloke and a genuine red.
---------------------------------
[12] A workshy scouse layabout says
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
Jamie Deadcrap spouts:
"Gary Neville said recently he feared that Manchester United's
dominance will disappear once Sir Alex Ferguson quits at the end of
next season,"
"I think he has every reason to be worried."
"This year has been difficult, because points-wise the gap has
actually widened. But if you look at the whole picture, some teams
are starting to close in on them,"
(which picture are you looking at Jamie, I thought your gaff had just
been done over? Oh I see you are talking Jackson Pollocks)
"Players like David Beckham and Ryan Giggs have never played under
another manager, so it will be interesting to see what their plans
will be when Fergie steps down,"
Well Becks played under David Moyes at Preston for one, you scouse
git and if Giggsy can put up with Bobby Gould as an international
manager.
"United are obviously worried about that as well, which is why they
are working on new contracts for them at the moment."
Nothing to do with their contracts up for renewal then (not that you
would know much about that, too busy keeping BUPA in business!)
---------------------------------
[11] Ali G - Posh & Becks Interview
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
That interview between Ali G and Posh & Beck's - we have a copy of the alleged
transcipt (thanks to various contributors) here:
(link:http://www.rednews.co.uk/AliG.htm) http://www.rednews.co.uk/AliG.htm
Please pass this web address on to your mates.
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[10] Schmikes injured
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
Schmeichel will miss his side's quarter final of the Portuguese Cup, after he failed
to recover from an injury to his right hand. He will be out of the team for Monday's
match against Famalicao, for a place in the semi-finals against fierce rivals Porto.
---------------------------------
[10] United strong in Euro XI
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
Manchester United have no fewer than four representatives in a Champions League XI put
together by the stattos at Opta - including three of the four midfielders.
Paul Scholes is rewarded for being Europe's top scoring midfielder while Becks and
Keano are also named in the best XI.
Teddy Sheringham is the other United player who makes the side which has no other
representatives from Britain despite Leeds' stunning run in the competition so far.
[Eh? - You mean with the help of all those jammy goals - 2 of which the keeper
actually threw into his own net.]
---------------------------------
[9] Early odds on United - Valencia
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
We've gone Metric with Ladbrokes:
Valencia
2.62
Manchester United
2.50
Draw
2.87
So we're slight favourites at 5/2 in old money - which is nice.
---------------------------------
[8] Champions League Odds
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
Real Madrid are 11-4 favourites to win the Champions League.
3-1 Manchester United
13-2 Bayern Munich
15-2 AC Milan
10-1 Lazio
12-1 Arsenal
16-1 Deportivo Coruna
25-1 Galatasaray, Leeds United
40-1 Spartak Moscow
66-1 Anderlecht, Lyon, Panathanaikos
80-1 Paris St Germain
200-1 Sturm Graz
Hill's are also offering 20/1 for an all-English Final.
---------------------------------
[7] Leading scorers in Premier League
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
Leading scorers in the premier league after Monday's match:
Incidentally Henry has scored 12 of his 14 at home - that kind of stats would be used
in an ABU conspiracy theory about cheating Mancs if it happened at Old Trafford.
15 - Marcus Stewart (Ipswich Town)
14 - Thierry Henry (Arsenal), Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink (Chelsea),
13 - Teddy Sheringham (Manchester United)
12 - Mark Viduka (Leeds United),
11 - Emile Heskey (Liverpool), James Beattie (Southampton)
10 - Jonatan Johansson (Charlton Athletic), Kevin Phillips (Sunderland)
9 - Alen Boksic (Middlesbrough), Paolo di Canio (West Ham United)
8 - Michael Owen (Liverpool), David Beckham (Manchester United), Paulo Wanchope
(Manchester City), Ole Gunnar Solskjaer (Manchester United), Frederic Kanoute (West
Ham United), Serhiy Rebrov (Tottenham Hotspur), Andy Cole (Manchester United)
---------------------------------
[6] Bowyer to play
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
Leeds will put money before principle when they play Lee Bowyer in the Champions
League clash against Anderlecht tonight.
O'Leary is quoted in the Mirror:
"We will have the smallest substitutes' bench in Champions League history."
[Just big enough to fit his tiny babies on?]
---------------------------------
[5] Celtic fans in Bhoycott
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
Celtic fans are getting agitated after their PLC allowed a new shirt design without
the famous green and white hoops. They'll be taking Football Club off the badge next.
Actually - it seems the hoops are mostly still there apart from under the armpits ?!?
---------------------------------
[4] Wenger sees his arse - again!
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
Wenger is throwing his toys out of the pram yet again - this time its the transfer
system that is twitching his sphincter.
"If the decision goes the wrong way then of course I will leave. I would just give up
club football entirely. There would be no point in carrying on."
[And the logic being? Won't everyone be in the same boat? Still lets hope the decision
goes the wrong way for packet of sweets and is then reversed, on appeal, after he's
resigned]
Wenger fears the EU will rule anyone can move to a new club after serving just three
months notice with their current employers.
That is why he has consistently refused to open negotiations with Arsenal about a new
contract - even though his current deal has less than 18 months to run.
[Ah - nothing to do with the slimy paedofeatures being offered a wheelbarrow full of
Yen to manage their National Team? Thought not.]
---------------------------------
[3] Scousers sheep rustling?
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
The Sun says The Scousers are in for Nigel Martyn with a 5 million quid bid. No quotes
- but Westerveld has been playing like a bag of shite so it would be no big surprise.
---------------------------------
[2] Ali G - Posh & Becks Interview
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
That interview between Ali G and Posh & Beck's - we have a copy of the alleged
transcipt (thanks to various contributors) here:
(link:http://www.rednews.co.uk/AliG.htm) http://www.rednews.co.uk/AliG.htm
Please pass this web address on to your mates.
---------------------------------
[1] Robson: Madrid - strongest threat
---------------------------------
Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 by redend:
Bobby Robson has more to say today in The Sun: "Real Madrid are perhaps the prime club
to repeat the success of last year. They play before a demanding public and in a
demanding league, which they are leading like United. And, like United, they won't
want to lose it."
"It appears they have strength in depth and they can handle the league and the
punishing Champions programme. They are the main danger to Manchester United. United
have strong characters in their side, which is very important and they look more than
capable of going all the way again."
"Alex will be pleased that during the period without European matches he has a massive
cushion of points in the Premiership which he felt he had to get because it is such a
demanding programme that they have to deal with. He is going to play a lot of big,
tough matches and to be where he is in the league as that re-starts is a great reward
for the way they have acted. They have hardly lost a game and it has been marvellous."
"AC Milan, Galatasaray, Valencia and Bayern Munich will all be a threat but if
Manchester United and Real Madrid can avoid each other from now, they will compete in
the final."
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[25] Draw for United kids against the scousers
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, February 12, 2001 by tb:
United's Under-17 team earned a late point in their match against Liverpoolon
Saturday, with Chris Humphreys scoring in the 89th minute. Chris followed up Eddie
Johnson's 25th minute opener to force a draw against the Merseysiders' youth team.
---------------------------------
[24] Is it a bird?, Is it a plane?
---------------------------------
Posted Monday, February 12, 2001 by tb:
Manchester City have beaten their United fans in booking the air space
above Old Trafford on Derby day.
The Massives have reportedly raised £3000 to pay for a massive plane to "buzz"
United's ground on 21 April, trailing a banner reading, "You're the pride of
Singapore."
They got the massive idea from Reds who had planned to do the same with a message
stating, "25 years and still counting."
They apparently have enough money left over to buy a massive 3000
inflatable prawns with Roy Keane's face on - those funny Bitters eh? Don't you just
love 'em?
Sorry to burst your bubble lads - but, as Blues supporter Dante Friend
admitted: "now we just need a result on the pitch."
