*W*ait for 48 hours before reacting to an insult.
Sounds easy, right. But have you ever tried doing it?
We think of ourselves as balanced individuals. But our lifestyle ensures
that all our waking hours are occupied, at home and at work. This often
makes us feel overwhelmed. It leads to reactions that are not the wisest,
even to very ordinary situations. Reactions that are not appropriate,
especially at work.
Ever wanted to talk back to your superior at work? There is a one
hundred per cent chance it will backfire. Try it. On second thoughts, don't!
Rather than focusing only on controlling your reactions, you must go behind
the scenes and get to the root cause of your impulsive behaviour. Most of
the time, this kind of behaviour results from stress.
Let us understand from psychology experts and Human Resource managers why
this happens:
According to clinical psychologist Prachi Vaish -- stress, beyond a certain
level, induces what is known as 'emotional volatility'. In this process, you
tend to feel on top of the world and extremely positive on one day and
terrible on other days. When you are down, you tend to lose patience and
react to unpleasant situations with extreme annoyance. Such reactions are a
manifestation of deep-seated and prolonged stress situations at work or in
your personal life.
In the first part -- of this two part series on how to not let your emotions
get the better of you -- we talk about situations at work that bring
on negative emotions and the steps that can be taken to avoid succumbing
to pressure.
*Excessive workload*
In most companies, the management feels their departments are adequately
staffed. While most employees feel the  opposite. When the employees find
themselves multitasking and working long hours, sometimes late into the
nights, the fatigue gives way to irritability.
Says Mohan Karmalkar, a 37-year-old project manager with a telecom company
in Mumbai, "My job involves 12 to 14 hours of work daily and the resultant
pressure sometimes becomes difficult to handle. I tend to snap at colleagues
and team members when they don't comprehend what I am getting at."
*Personal frustrations*
The ups and downs you face in your personal life occupy your mind in some
small or big way, even when you're at work. This disturbs the
balance between personal and professional life.
"Concentrating on work became close to impossible when I was undergoing
problems in my marriage," says 31-year-old Preeti Vazdi, a Bangalore-based
graphic designer.
"The very fact that we could be heading towards a divorce made it impossible
for me to work, at times. I used to feel like crying all the time. All the
pent up frustration started showing up in the form of extreme reactions
towards peers, seniors and juniors," she adds.
*Other factors*
According to Puja Shah, HR manager with a media company, an extreme gender
specific situation at work can be sexual harassment, which makes it
difficult for a woman to handle everyday work, especially if she needs the
job.
"Ethical malpractice in the company, too, can be a stress-generating factor
for an employee," she adds. More so in the interim period when a person is
trying to get another job elsewhere.
Some other factors, according to Puja, are as follows

   - Mismatch between one's skills and the assigned profile
   - Difference in expectations from the job and the actual profile
   assigned
   - Underperformance by team members
   - Job insecurity
   - Inability to fit into a team either due to own lack of effort or
   resistance from team
   - Lack of a support system at office
   - Attitude issues with certain colleagues

All of these situations cause stress, sometimes for long periods, which
manifests in the form of a sullen or rude approach to interactions with
other people.
*How to curb emotional volatility at work*
Preventing negative reactions to situations is in your own hands. If you
don't control your emotions, they will control you. Some effective methods
of reducing volatile behaviour:
~Use weekends to get away and relax
Utilise your weekends to travel to even nearby holiday spots. Weekends are
not just meant to pay bills, run pending errands, or do groceries.
I am not much of a traveller and generally spend my weekends finishing
house-related work or tending to my personal accounts but I was dragged to
Goa by a bunch of mad friends over a long weekend. I had never imagined the
kind of isolation the trip provided from my regular lifestyle. I came back
totally rejuvenated.
Try a change of place. And trust me, it really works.
~Share work problems with your partner/spouse
If you have a working spouse, he/she would understand the problems you are
facing at work instantly. Even if your partner doesn't work, he/she will
have a fair understanding of your mindset and what bothers you and for what
reason.
Spouses are generally good confidants/confidantes. Giving vent by talking is
a safety valve and it will prevent you from complaing  about one
colleague to another.
~Build your own support system
Build a rapport with someone you are comfortable with at office.
Creating healthy friendships helps to de-stress during breaks. This
brings emotional stability and the vigour to get back to work.
It also helps to understand the organisation culture better since you share
work-related experiences with a colleague.
~Communicate
Communicate with your boss and clarify your role. Help your boss to help
you. It is a far better option than keeping it within and establishing a
negative image about yourself.
~Delay your reaction
Don't let what someone says to you encourage the wrong reaction. The
importance of think before you speak cannot be overemphasised. A measured
reaction also ensures that you speak calmly when you do speak.
You should choose your words carefully when you speak, ensuring that you
don't hurt the sentiments of the person opposite you -- you can later
analyse the situation and find the solutions to what has troubled you.
~Time management
Don't work long, work smart. Use productivity tools to speeden your work.
More available time can help you stay relaxed.
"I have been taking yoga classes, and the *pranayam* takes me to a relaxed
state of mind in the morning itself, and I am better equipped to take on the
day," says Rajat Verma, 35 and a finance manager with a leading cement
company in Delhi.
~Work on your PR skills
It is not just important to work hard. It is also important to manage your
relations at work better. If you succeed in creating positive vibes at work
-- where you spend virtually all your waking hours -- you will find your
efficiency increased manifold.
~Organise
Keep your tasks streamlined and your desk organised. Knowing exactly what is
completed and what is stored where may seem unimportant, but it can control
temperamental reactions.
~Upgrade your skills
Invest your time in learning new things at work. Learning new software will
ensure you are with the times, and will provide a feeling of increased
competence.
~Destress at work
Many companies nowadays provide facilities to their employees like game
rooms, gyms, etc. Ms Vaish says, "Instead of thinking that valuable work
time will be lost in engaging in such activities, one should indulge.
Physical exercises are cathartic media and help to relieve stress."
"So, when the person comes back to his desk, he is fresh and uses half the
time to finish the same work," she adds.
*Last word *
Keeping a rein on your emotions while at work goes a *long *way in achieving
healthier relations. It will also bring  professional growth.


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