Most
of us have a dream – whether it's a better home, relationship or
career. But often, we're our own worst enemies when it comes to
achieving them. Take our quiz to find out why...
1 You're not going on a weekend course that could help your career because:
A. You're nervous you'll mess up and your boss will hear about it.
B. The hotel and travel is expensive and the kids need new shoes.
C. Your husband can't look after everyone while you're away.
D. You're not sure it'll help and it's a hassle.
2 Your friend has asked you to read a poem at her wedding. You:
A. Get no sleep the night before, imagining yourself ruining the wedding.
B. Worry about whether your High Street outfit is suitable.
C. Are scared your family will be embarrassed.
D. Think about crying off – she's not that close a friend.
3 You have a spare weekend to paint your scruffy kitchen. Do you:
A. Fail to pick a colour and put it off for another month.
B. Decide you can't afford the kitchen you really want and give up.
C. End up taking the kids to football, then going shopping, so there's no time.
D. Have a lie-in and go to the cinema instead – you need a rest.
4 You'd like to take up a hobby. Do you:
A. Put off joining a choir in case you're no good compared to the others.
B. Assume lessons will cost a fortune, so stick to karaoke.
C. Grow weary of the family's "Simon Cowell" jokes and forget it.
D. Decide you haven't really got time for proper lessons.
5 It's your special anniversary and your partner has mentioned going to Paris.
You:
A. Worry that you don't speak French.
B. Reject his four-star romantic hotel suggestion in favour of a B&B.
C. End up booking it yourself and struggle to find a weekend babysitter in time.
D. Realise that you've double-booked that weekend and are entertaining friends.
6 You're moving and you have seen your perfect house. Do you:
A. Feel sad – it's probably already sold.
B. Wish they'd drop the price a little.
C. Feel hurt that your partner isn't as keen as you are.
D. Decide that if it's meant to be, you'll end up there.
7 You have an important meeting at work but your kids are ill. Do you:
A. Stay home – it's not like you'll be missed.
B. Take them with you – emergency babysitting fees are exorbitant.
C. Ask everyone you know but end up taking them with you anyway.
D. Enjoy the chance of a day off.
8 Where will you be in five years' time?
A. Probably in the same place, doing the same things.
B. Out of debt, hopefully.
C. Single and happy. May be.
D. Who knows? It's hard to say..
HOW DID YOU SCORE?
MOSTLY A: LACK OF SELF CONFIDENCE
You're
more capable than you think but your first response to any challenge is
fear that you're not up to the task. So you end up avoiding situations
that could expose your failings.
Some of the greatest inventors
and writers in history had more rejections than they ever had
successes. But they all believed in themselves.
Start with small changes to build your confidence, such as make a suggestion at
work by email, not in the meeting.
Once
you realise your opinions are valid, you'll be bolder. Ask yourself
what's the worst that can happen and make plans to handle any outcome.
Then go for it!
MOSTLY B: LACK OF CASH
Money
is a huge issue, so it's not surprising that fear of debt stops you
from living the life you dream of. But when you let it prevent you
pursuing a career, or an interest, your priorities are all wrong.
Work
out your long-term financial goals but leave funds aside for personal
use. Committing a little to your relationship, or furthering your
career, isn't frivolous, it's essential – and as long as you stick to a
payment plan for major expenses, you won't go under.
Cash often
becomes an emotional issue – you may be trying to prove to your kids
that money doesn't grow on trees. It doesn't but it does give you the
chance to fulfil dreams.
MOSTLY C: LACK OF SUPPORT
This is the most difficult issue of all to overcome, because if your family
isn't supportive, dreams are harder to achieve.
Perhaps
over the years, they've taken you for granted and assumed that, unless
you make a fuss, you're not bothered. You need to let go of the guilt –
just because your partner earns more, or the kids want new trainers, it
doesn't mean your ambitions should be sacrificed for theirs.
Research
your goals and present them with a concrete plan. Once they know you're
serious, they may offer more help. At the moment, they don't believe in
your vague plans, because you don't.
MOSTLY D: LACK OF COMMITMENT
You
think you know what you want but, deep down, you've never worked out
whether it's a good idea. And because you're half-hearted about your
goals, they're impossible to achieve.
It may be a lack of belief
that you deserve success but it's time to think about what will really
make you happy. Prioritise three things that bring you fulfilment and
make sure your future dreams involve them. Then make a five-year plan,
detailing how you could get closer to them. And don't be afraid to do
new things.
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