-19 has those changes. On Mon, Dec 12, 2022 at 10:23 AM Brian Campbell <bcampb...@pingidentity.com> wrote:
> Thank you for the review and ballot Lars. I believe we can easily > incorporate those suggestions. > > > > > On Mon, Dec 12, 2022 at 7:14 AM Lars Eggert via Datatracker < > nore...@ietf.org> wrote: > >> Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for >> draft-ietf-oauth-rar-18: No Objection >> >> When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all >> email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this >> introductory paragraph, however.) >> >> >> Please refer to >> https://www.ietf.org/about/groups/iesg/statements/handling-ballot-positions/ >> for more information about how to handle DISCUSS and COMMENT positions. >> >> >> The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here: >> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-oauth-rar/ >> >> >> >> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >> COMMENT: >> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >> >> # GEN AD review of draft-ietf-oauth-rar-18 >> >> CC @larseggert >> >> Thanks to Robert Sparks for the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review >> ( >> https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/shFcI11Wajhydi8wJuFM3VaVfkI >> ). >> >> ## Comments >> >> ### Inclusive language >> >> Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see >> https://www.rfc-editor.org/part2/#inclusive_language for background and >> more >> guidance: >> >> * Terms `her` and `his`; alternatives might be `they`, `them`, `their` >> >> ## Nits >> >> All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may >> choose to >> address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by >> automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so >> there >> will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what >> you >> did with these suggestions. >> >> ### URLs >> >> These URLs in the document did not return content: >> >> * https://taxservice.govehub.no >> * http://hl7.org/fhir/organization-type >> * http://example.info/claims/groups >> >> I guess these are supposed to be example URLs. Please use the >> designated example domain names for this. >> >> ### Grammar/style >> >> #### Section 2.1, paragraph 1 >> ``` >> fication does not require the use of any of these common fields by an API >> def >> ^^^^^^^^^ >> ``` >> Consider simply using "of" instead. >> >> #### Section 3, paragraph 6 >> ``` >> if any of the following are true of any of the objects in >> authorization_deta >> ^^^^^^^^^ >> ``` >> Consider simply using "of" instead. >> >> #### Section 3, paragraph 10 >> ``` >> ke security decisions based on whether or not the request is asking for >> "mor >> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >> ``` >> Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though >> if you >> mean "regardless of whether". >> >> #### Section 7, paragraph 6 >> ``` >> Token Error Response MUST conform the the rules given in Section 5. 9. >> Reso >> ^^^^^^^ >> ``` >> Possible typo: you repeated a word. >> >> #### Section 16, paragraph 7 >> ``` >> * tax_payer_id: identifier of the tax payer (if known to the client) A.4. >> eH >> ^^^^^^^^^ >> ``` >> This word is normally spelled as one. >> >> ## Notes >> >> This review is in the ["IETF Comments" Markdown format][ICMF], You can >> use the >> [`ietf-comments` tool][ICT] to automatically convert this review into >> individual GitHub issues. Review generated by the >> [`ietf-reviewtool`][IRT]. >> >> [ICMF]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments/blob/main/format.md >> [ICT]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments >> [IRT]: https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool >> >> >> >> _______________________________________________ >> OAuth mailing list >> OAuth@ietf.org >> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/oauth >> > -- _CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient(s). Any review, use, distribution or disclosure by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please notify the sender immediately by e-mail and delete the message and any file attachments from your computer. Thank you._
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