Jason you are over complicating this.
Jason King wrote:
All I really want to do is:
-run a query, then cache it (and name it as well)
-define how long the query lasts so that it expires automatically
-be able to run queries against the cached query
-be able to get data about the cache (if it exists, when it expires, etc)
If that is all you want, then you just need to do
================================
<cfquery name="t"
datasource="d"
cachedwithin="#CreateTimeSpan(0,0,3,0)#">
select now()
</cfquery>
<cfdump var="#t#">
================================
that is it. You need nothing more than that. You don't need to name it.
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