Hi Paul, Thank you for the review.
The changes can be tracked here: https://github.com/boucadair/-ipfix-rfc7125-update/commit/7af0cc67d2abbf7aed241b35098e48076e2923f8 See inline for more context. Cheers, Med > -----Message d'origine----- > De : Aitken, Paul <pait...@ciena.com> > Envoyé : mercredi 25 octobre 2023 23:39 > À : BOUCADAIR Mohamed INNOV/NET <mohamed.boucad...@orange.com> > Cc : Joe Clarke (jclarke) <jcla...@cisco.com>; opsawg > <opsawg@ietf.org> > Objet : draft-ietf-opsawg-rfc7125-update-05 review > > Med, > > > 0. "This document obsoletes RFC 7125." > > -> It would have been good to ask the authors of that document to > review > the new draft. > > [Med] by "new", I assume you meant the version the change from update to bis. I naively assumed that you checked that part when you replied to the IPR poll from Joe. > > 1. Introduction > > "The bits in offsets 0 through 3 are not header flags, but the > TCP > segment Data Offset field." > > -> This paragraph appears out of context, and it doesn't need to be > indented. > > [Med] This is an aside note to explain why TCP flags start with bit offset 4. > > "and, therefore, [RFC7125] risks to deviate from the authoritative > TCP > registry [TCP-FLAGS]." > > -> s/to deviate/deviating/ > > [Med] OK > > 3. The tcpControlBits Information Element > > It's not immediately clear whether this section is showing the current > definition or proposing a new definition. > > A title of "Updated / Proposed / Revised tcpControlBits Information > Element" would be quite clear. > [Med] Happily. Changed to "Revised ..." > > > "by the collector. Use the tcpHeaderLength Information Element > to > encode this value." > > -> s/collector/Collector/ [Med] Changed all occurrences to align with IPFIX conventions. > > I appreciate this language is copied from the existing definition, but > "Collector" is a defined IPFIX term and this is the only IE in the > registry which uses lowercase. > [Med] Thanks for confirming for other IEs. > > > 5. Security Considerations > > "This document uses a stronger requirement language compared to > [RFC7125]." > > -> s/requirement/requirements/ > [Med] Fixed. > > P. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Ce message et ses pieces jointes peuvent contenir des informations confidentielles ou privilegiees et ne doivent donc pas etre diffuses, exploites ou copies sans autorisation. Si vous avez recu ce message par erreur, veuillez le signaler a l'expediteur et le detruire ainsi que les pieces jointes. Les messages electroniques etant susceptibles d'alteration, Orange decline toute responsabilite si ce message a ete altere, deforme ou falsifie. Merci. This message and its attachments may contain confidential or privileged information that may be protected by law; they should not be distributed, used or copied without authorisation. If you have received this email in error, please notify the sender and delete this message and its attachments. As emails may be altered, Orange is not liable for messages that have been modified, changed or falsified. Thank you. _______________________________________________ OPSAWG mailing list OPSAWG@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/opsawg
