Dear Authors/Chairs/ADs, Please see below for feedback from the experts for this document.
Best regards, David Dong IANA Services Sr. Specialist On Wed May 08 09:42:14 2024, pait...@ciena.com wrote: > This document is simply too long to review. I'm about half way > through, and will not have time to complete the review before May > 10th. > > > > * In the TOC, all the OLD / NEW section names are distracting. It > would be much more readable if the TOC was limited to just two levels: > > 1. Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 > 2. Conventions and Definitions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 > 3. Why An RFC is Needed for These Updates? . . . . . . . . . . . 6 > 4. Update the Description . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 > 4.1. sourceTransportPort . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 > 4.2. destinationTransportPort . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 > 4.3. forwardingStatus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 > > > > * In the Introduction, "some other parts" lacks context unless the > reader is familiar with RFC9565, RFC7125, and the WG process that took > place. So simply say, "some parts": > > When OPSAWG was considering [RFC9565] which updates [RFC7125], the WG > realized that some other parts of the IANA IP Flow Information Export > (IPFIX) registry ... > > > > > * Typo in 4.1.2. NEW : > > See the assigned tranport protocol (e.g., TCP, UDP, DCCP, and > SCTP) port numbers at https://www.iana.org/assignments/service- > names-port-numbers. > > > > Also, please retain the UDP, TCP, SCTP, DCCP ordering. Same for 4.2.2, > 4.4.2, and 4.5.2. > See the assigned tranport protocol (e.g., TCP, UDP, DCCP, and SCTP) > port numbers at > https://www.iana.org/assignments/service-names-port-numbers. > > > * 4.2.2. NEW > > "destination" x2 : > > Description: The destination port identifier in the transport protocol > header. For transport protocols such as > UDP, TCP, SCTP, and DCCP, this is the source port number given in the > respective header. This field MAY also > be used for future transport protocols that have 16-bit source port > identifiers. > > > * 4.4.2. NEW > > There's no mention of DCCP in the description, nor reference to > [RFC4340], though DCCP is mentioned in the last paragraph of > Additional Information. > > > > * 4.5.2. NEW > > Traffic is sent from a source port, not to it: > > The source port identifier to which the Exporting Process sends Flow > information. > > > There's no mention of DCCP in the description, nor reference to > [RFC4340], though DCCP is mentioned in the last paragraph of > Additional Information. > > > > * 6.3.2. NEW > > No, it's the "flow end reason" registry: > > See the Classification Engine IDs registry available at > [https://www.iana.org/assignments/ipfix/ipfix.xhtml#ipfix-flow-end- > reason]. > > > > * 6.4.2. New > > "See the NAT originating address realm registry at ..." > Additional Information: See the assigned NAT originating address realm > at > > > * 6.5.2. New > > "See the NAT Event Type registry at" > Additional Information: See the assigned NAT Event Types at > > > * 6.6.2. NEW > > "See the firewallEvent registry at" > Additional Information: See the assigned firewall events at > > Same comment for many other sections. ie, where the text says, "Values > are listed in the xyz registry.", the Additional Information should > say, "See the xyz registry at ..." > > > > * 6.11.2 NEW > > Please append [RFC5102<https://www.iana.org/go/rfc5102>] here. > For the methods parameters, Information Elements are defined in the > information model document [RFC5102]. > > > * Typo in 6.12.2. NEW : > > Additional Information: See the assigned emelement data types at > [https://www.iana.org/assignments/ipfix/ipfix.xhtml#ipfix- > information-element-data-types]. > > > > * 6.13.2. NEW > > The ; should be a . as "The special value" is a new sentence: > > subregistry; the special value 0x00 (default) is used > > > > (Stopped at 6.14) > _______________________________________________ OPSAWG mailing list -- opsawg@ietf.org To unsubscribe send an email to opsawg-le...@ietf.org
