A modern day classic!
----- Original Message -----
To: "Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Friday, August 31, 2001 4:20 PM
> I am in charge of 273 databases at sites throughout the world, some of
them
> in places with no electricity where we have an elephant on a treadmill
> supplying power. I personally had to once step in for the elephant when he
> was feeling under the weather.
>
> All of these databases are 26 x 8, meaning 26 hours a day eight days a
week
> since we have to deal with the additional day caused by the international
> date line, and two extra hours because of some places have weird time
zones.
> On certain days the International Time committee adds a leap second to the
> day which means that on those days I have to work an extra second * 273
> databases which adds up to several minutes.
>
> On 19 of those databases, due to the lack of funds for storage, I have to
do
> a backup to paper, i.e. I have to manually read every table through select
> statements and write them down on paper using a broken pencil.
>
> We are planning on sending a few databases out onto satellites, one of
them
> on a probe to Neptune. I will also be in charge of the backup/uptime for
> those mission-critical systems, since they will be used as the back-end
for
> a
> website that receives thousands of hits per minute (a Britney Spears fan
> club site).
>
> I am the only human DBA. We have three helper monkeys at remote locations
> but they are currently on strike.
>
> I have to run off now because the coffee machine is broken and no one is
> here to fix it except me. I had to carve my own coffe cup out of wood
> because I can't afford ceramic.
>
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--
Author: Gary Weber
INET: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Fat City Network Services -- (858) 538-5051 FAX: (858) 538-5051
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