Truth and conflict

[kenoli Oleari]

Title: Truth and conflict

I think conflict can result from many things and people locked in conflict can be coming from many places.  Sometimes conflict is standing firm at a genuine place that feels threatened.  Sometimes it is raging from a stuck place that has become safe and defended and what is being expressed may not have much to do with what else is going on in the room at the time.  Some people stay with their feelings and immediate experience when expressing anger and some people are expressing anger from a re-stimulation mode in which something in the past becomes the most immediately real thing to them.  All of this can be very confusing, and connecting to what is happening right now for everyone in the room can take some doing.  Of course the immediate thing that is going on and the place that we have to start from is that we are in conflict, we are angry, we are stimulated in some way.  There are probably also other things going on in the room that conflict often masks, like "We really care very much about each other", or "Getting past this conflict and making a real connection is really important to me."  I think the trick is opening up all the voices (conflict often makes a good attempt at keeping many voices closed.) and again:

Showing up and being present

Telling the truth without blame or judgement

Follow what has heart and meaning

Letting go of attachment to outcome

The truth will prevail!

Kenoli

Hmmmm...... I see what you mean, Judi and Harrison.  There is that aspect of conflict that puts us in touch with ourselves.  The internal struggle that accompanies external conflict can force us to explore our deeper truths and meanings in life.  That exploration can result in important learning and growth.

 

And then there is that aspect of conflict that blames and judges the other.  It is the healing of this aspect, I think, that I was trying to get at in my earlier post.  This is the healing that allows us to have a shared truth with another rather than a solo truth that excludes the other.  That shared truth sometimes opens us to the possibility of recognizing our connection, our oneness.

 

I love the four laws of Spirit that Birgitt shared. 

 

Thank you, everyone, for such thoughtful conversation.

 

Julie

 

 

----- Original Message -----

From: Harrison Owen

To: osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu

Sent: Wednesday, August 29, 2001 7:23 AM

Subject: Re: AW: Central Asia

At 11:40 AM 8/29/2001 -0300, you wrote:

Hi all,

A very rich exchange, indeed.  Intriguing to hear a plethora of experience!

Julie -- you wrote...
I spend some of my time mediating with people who are in conflict.  It seems
to me that people in conflict are usually not in touch with truth.

My experience has been that people in conflict -- including myself(!) are quite often beginning to touch their own truth when in conflict!

Judi

Personally I find that when folks are in conflict they are totally connected to the Truth -- their own. Not necessarily a bad thing if space can be provided so that some perspective may be achieved. And the good news about conflict is that somebody cares. No Conflict? Nobody cares! but you do need some space to move about in. which is why, I guess, we do what we do.

ho

Harrison Owen
7808 River Falls Drive
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fax 301-983-9314
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Camden, ME 04843
Personal website www.mindspring.com/~owenhh
Open Space Institute website www.openspaceworld.org
Open Space Training www.openspaceworld.com

--
Kenoli Oleari, Horizons of Change, http://www.horizonsofchange.com
1801 Fairview Street, Berkeley, CA  94703   Voice Phone: 510-601-8217,
Fax: 510-595-8369, Email: ken...@igc.org (or click on: mailto://ken...@igc.org)

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