Masud-- When I read your email, I sensed your disappointment at hearing
no response from Theresa, and I'm guessing your need for knowing how
she took your comments was not met.
In two earlier emails yesterday, I spoke about Nonviolent Communication
(NVC) and gave some bare essentials of the model. Upon reading your
email, I am moved to say just a bit more about NVC. In that model,
often words that follow "am, is, was, would be, could be..." are labels
or judgments, whether they are positive or negative. The NVC way of
giving feedback is to speak in terms of how I felt about what the other
said or did, what needs of mine were met or not met, and what request
do I have about what would meet my need. So, if I were to respond to
your words "...Is that not highly judgmental, Theresa, an opinion
expressed as fact...", I would say something like, "Masud, when I read
the words you wrote, I felt anxious because my need for clarity and
understanding about exactly what constitutes judgment in your mind was
not met. Would you be willing to elaborate and further explain what you
mean by judgment?"
I hope this gives you an option to consider. Be Peace --BJ
On Friday, April 22, 2005, at 08:28 AM, Masud Sheikh wrote:
Dear all,
In the interest of expanding my “NOW”, I request a favour/favor (being
Canadian, I can use both spellings):
Yesterday, I had a conflict withTherese Fitzpatrick, when I posted the
following note:
“>Funda, such an event would not be negative...it could be wonderful
and life affirming.
> And it could unleash new, positive initiatives in the world.
Please forgive me for reacting, Therese.
"Would not be negative....." - Is that not highly judgmental, Therese
– an opinion expressed as fact?
Masud”
Therese’s lack of response makes it evident that my “NOW” did not
contain enough space for her to respond. For those of you who can have
space for my views, as well as hers, can you please suggest an
alternative way of posing my comment/question?
My best wishes
Masud
There is something called learning at a rather small level of
organisation. At a much higher gestalt level, learning is called
evolution– Gregory Bateson
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