Hi Phelim,
Your decision sounds wise, but somewhat difficult to make, under the
circumstances.
Let's hope anyone else who is asked checks their own feedback as
carefully as you did.
I am mentally storing your experience for future situations I might
encounter.
Thank you,
Allison.
On 22/10/2006, at 9:27 AM, Phelim McDermott wrote:
Hello folks,
OK guys here's the scenario. And sadly I have to pussy foot here.
So I apologise if there's code happening..
You do an open space gig which you set up yourself.. and it causes
a bit of a stir. Of course.. It works. So people talk about it and
you get asked to do some more. By other people in the same
sector..the arts..
As ever you feel like you're simultaneously a sort of "joan of ark"
because of your passion and at the same time a pretender... I mean
there's people out there who have been doing this for years ..
however you take courage because as Harrison says anyone with a
good heart... etc and today you feel ok about where you're coming
from.
Anyway.. through various connections the big gig comes knocking on
your door. it's something you really care about. its close to your
own passion its a real opportunity and its a major kudos gig for
your own company.. in lots of ways and you start to talk with them
about it.....
Then as you talk you begin to suspect that they want open space cos
it looks like it does certain things ie involves people, looks
democratic but you suspect...
that they dont REALLY WANT to open space they want to look like
they opened space cos that will buy them some "cred.". Then they
can say they consulted and opened it out but then they did what
they did.
When they say they want one day rather than two you suspect its cos
they fear what might come up if there's more time.
they say THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE wont come to a two day event but they
will to a one day.
Because its your own environment you have an emotional response to
this and fight even harder for the value of two days... obvious
reasons.
They make a demand that it happens within an unrealistic time frame
without really even knowing what the theme or the BIG QUESTION
might be. They want you to do it with at least SIX different
groups... (I said it was a BIG GIG)
You know you could just say yes and some wonderful things might
happen because you opened space on an issue in an area thats really
important to you but you also know it's a compromise..
the more they say do six one day events the more you find yourself
arguing for TWO DAYS
THE MORE THEY SAY YES BUT WE NEED TO MOVE FAST YOU SAY..
yes If you slow down make sure the invitations are right before we
proceed... you will move faster..
You find yourself asking...... If it was someone who wasnt so
emotionally involved would they just go with what they were asking
for?
You realise its happening...
yes... you are TALKING YOUR WAY OUT OF A REALLY BIG GIG...
You dont want to do open space to tick someone's cool consultation
box..
as you are making your decision
You simultaneously feel noble and STUPID..
You find yourself getting more demanding and outrageous in your
suggestions...
"Forget six separate gigs do ONE enormous g
ig if you really want to sort this... get some diversity and .ask
the BIG question!"
You also know actually this is true ! it would be amazing but
are already seeing that maybe it's not going to happen.. there will
be different gigs happening they will probably even ask someone
else in to do open space because we said we couldnt do it to their
schedule...
You tell them you dont feel its right for us to do this gig and
they probably want something other than open space
You feel a bit crap.. and dont quite know what happened..
You feel like you've failed because you didn't manage to
communicate well about why you were being so adamant about certain
things..
you feel a bit isolated..
you know its good long term but momentarily you feel sad..
You hope someone else understands how you're feeling..
Phelimxx
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