Dear Suzanne, I come late to offering condolences on your father's passing.
When my mother died, someone, I don't remember who, gave me a poem that moved me. I hope you find solace in it. Peggy GIVE WHAT'S LEFT OF ME AWAY When I die Remember me with a smile and laughter. If thoughts of me provoke no love, Only sadness and tears, I ask that I be soon forgotten. Give what's left of me away To children and old men who wait to die. And if you must cry, cry for your brother Who walks in grief beside you. And when you need me, Put your arms around anyone, And give them what you need to give me. I want to leave you something. Something better than words or sounds. Look for me in the people I've known or loved, Or helped in some special way. And if you cannot give me away, Let me live in your eyes for awhile, As well as in your mind. You can love me most By letting love live Within the circle of your arms Embracing the frightened ones. Love doesn't die, people do. So when all that's left of me is love, Give me away. -- Jack Link On Dec 13, 2010, at 3:40 AM, Suzanne Daigle wrote: > Dear Alan and all in the Open Space family, (long and personal....!) > > Where to start, how to start and what to say. On many fronts Alan, I have > much to say and share. > > First and most important, is this work in Health Care, globally, nationally, > regionally and locally that you are connecting us to. In the past 10 years > or so, I have spent weeks and months in the hospital accompanying my aging > parents undergoing various medical interventions. When you live and sleep in > the hospital, you see and feel many things. You see the kindness of staff, > you know the deep intention to do good and you feel the powerlessness and > sheer exhaustion of many overwhelmed by a system that is struggling most > days: struggling at how complicated medicine has become, with so many > procedures and processes, advanced technology that saves lives and extends > lives and yet often crashes with the "day-to-day basics" when we often lose > sight of and the loving care that is such an important part of Health Care. > Big business with its fervor to manage, predict and control often intervenes > in ways that are not helpful. If we could only trust the human spirit more, I > believe costs would be better managed and care would have its noble place > thus making us all "healthier" and "happier" in the long run. > > Alan I applaud what you are doing; I applaud the conversations you convene > between human beings with human beings in so many places, in so many ways. I > honor Open Space and all that it does. I know that Positive Deviance, though > I am not deeply familiar with it but plan to be, offers a path to change and > transform health care and so many other areas in a way that lives and > breathes the very principles of Open Space. And then finally, I know that > Conversare is a gift from the heart, a gift to say that in life it is okay to > have fun, to enjoy being together and simply revel in this place called life. > We often forget that to "save the world" and "address all the problems", the > simple act of "enjoying each others' company and just "being ourselves" goes > a long way to get things done. When we appreciate each other, we stop fixing > and we start creating. > > Now this is where my story becomes more complicated and personal. I share it > with you because it is through Alan that I met Joelle Lyons Everett, a great > source of comfort and friendship these past weeks, and it is through Open > Space that I met Gail in Taiwan, Lisa from San Francisco who is also living > parent care, and of course Harrison and so many others in the Open Space > community. As I have often done in the past, I will share vulnerably with > you again now. > > A week ago tonight, my father passed away in hospice at the hospital. A few > short months ago, he was the picture of health pushing my mom's wheelchair, > racing up stairs and still the guy very much in charge. Those who know me > and have read me on this Open Space international list, know my close > relationship with my dad, this man, the doctor who revered facts, data, > science and medicine, the rebel at heart always battling the system, the one > who did not always understand the "emotional and spiritual ways" of his > daughter or large system change achieved not through "force and might" or > "right and wrong" but rather using Harrison's Wave Riding words through an > understanding that "high performance is the productive interplay of diverse, > complex forces, including chaos, confusion and conflict, characterized by > wholeness, health and harmony." These past few years, dad and I found each > other through Open Space. What fun he had reading the Italian Version of Open > Space Technology and then grilling me as a stern teacher would a trembling > student. > > What I also know now is that on the other side of pain lies a brand new life, > one where I will be released from this desire to please and appease that > happens so often between daughters and fathers, between sons and fathers -- > something that often gets carried into the rest of our lives. I will know > "freedom" and "choice" no longer seeking approval, passionately engaged in > this important work of Open Space. But first I will rest and sink into this > complicated grief work realizing perhaps for the first time that in death as > in life, all is not always as it appears. Soothed by re-reading what Harrison > has written in many books including Spirit > (http://www.openspaceworld.com/Spirit.pdf) about the process of grief work > which was inspired by the late Elisabeth Kubler Ross, I will know that I am > like so many others, just human and by knowing this, I will be better in the > future at "opening, holding and closing" space. > > So Alan, hopefully you will not feel that I high jacked your posting with my > personal life story. I never knew Alan that meeting in Taiwan at WOSonOS with > us raising our martini glass with a salute to our pal HO would lead to this > long distance friendship and collegial relationship. > > In closing, it seems appropriate to shift away from my story or what Alan > described to what a few Sumatra participants said which speaks a common truth > that we hear all the time and in many ways are our "raison d'être" for > Opening Space and why we, in this wonderful Open Space community of ours, do > what we do: > > "Until this experience I had always thought that only the most intelligent > members of a class were capable of coming up with ideas on a topic such as > the one we addressed. Now I know that anyone may do so." > > > "When my colleagues and I do research we usually look at the negative side of > issues. I can now see that looking for positive aspects would be very > valuable." > > > > "I have never before imagined myself coming forward to talk to an audience > this large. Today I have done it." > > > > Simple truths indeed! > > > > Affectionately and appreciatively signed, > > Suzanne Daigle > > > > > On Sat, Dec 11, 2010 at 8:55 PM, Alan Stewart <alanmstew...@gmail.com> wrote: > Hello All > > > > Further to my being in West Sumatra in May of this year to give a keynote > address at an international conference on ‘The Health Care Revolution in > Indonesia’ …at which I suggested that OST is a very effective means by which > to enable communities to communicate their perceived needs for health care > services. See: > > > > http://openspaceworld.ning.com/forum/topics/sewing-seeds-for-ost > > > > The organizer of the conference was Prof Dr Elfindri (like many people in > Indonesia he has only one name) who was one of my PhD students when I was an > academic nutritionist in a medical school in Australia in the early 90s. > While his background is in economics he wished to better understand the > relationship between the nutritional status of communities and their > productivity. > > > > In the course of his studies I passed on to him the concept of Positive > Deviance (PD). He used this approach in the field work for his PhD thesis and > subsequently in further studies. So successful did this prove that he > published widely on the approach and also set up his own publishing company > to produce books on the topic. > > > > Elfindri is now a well respected and well connected person in Sumatra and > beyond in Indonesia. > > > > He invited me back late last month to present, jointly, a series of > seminar/workshops on OST and PD in several cities around this island, all to > audiences comprising mainly staff and students of private universities. My > role was to cover matters to do with OST, his on PD. We both also introduced > our respective perspectives on ‘soft skills’ or ‘people skills’ > > > > Here are brief points about these elements of our presentations: > ‘Experiential' OST, PD, roles of Dania Pratiwi. > > > > 1. ‘Hands on’ experience with OST > > > > In only one of the four sessions was there opportunity to provide this, given > limitations of time and space. Nonetheless I touched on OST as a means of > communicating with communities and its potential significance for health care > practitioners wherever possible. > > > > In the first of the presentations, scheduled for a morning only, in Padang, > while 500 participants were expected 1300 materialised. No possibility! In > two others the time was even more limited and so no prospect either. > > > > In the one where there was an opportunity (a full day event in Pekanbaru, in > Riau province), the time allocated was two hours only. And with an audience > of some 250 - in a theatre with fixed seats that did not swivel - there was > no possibility of having a circle! This audience comprised staff and students > of nursing, midwifery and health education. > > > > Very briefly – the OST experience happened and happened well. I had mentioned > in a talk in the morning that it would take place, immediately after lunch, > and what the potential value to them could be. > > > > And had shown John Engle’s lovely video at the Mennonite Health Assembly Open > Space. (Also to the 1300 strong audience earlier). John, even while you and > your family are in a precarious situation in Haiti your influence is > percolating nicely in Indonesia. > > > > In introducing the ‘hands on’ I: > > > > . suggested to the audience that they imagine that they were in a circle! > > . walked up and back up the centre isle of the theatre, in lieu of the > circle, making eye contact with as many of the audience as possible. > > . spoke to the principles and associated ideas which Dania – see below – had > produced beautifully and which were on display on the front of the stage. > > . indicated that the theme was ‘How may health care practitioners improve the > nutritional status of children?’ > > . also indicated that there was time only for one breakout session of about > 75 minutes. > > . invited everyone to come down to the front where there were paper and pens, > and write what they thought was important to explore. > > . encouraged those who had a topic to offer to come to the front again to > announce it. > > > > Whoosh! Immediately I had finished saying these things about 15 people from > all parts of the audience ran (no leaped!) down, picked up their paper and > began to scribe furiously. And then came forward to announce – through a > hand held microphone – their topics. Having done this they pinned their > papers to a board. > > > > What to do next? With only about 75 minutes for the break out session and > about 15 topics I suggested that we pick five of them, randomly, to become > the agenda items. These were then typed up by Dania and projected onto a > large screen. > > Once this was done I invited the proponents of each to come down the front > and allocated them a number from 1 to 5. I then asked them to follow me up > the centre isle, where I ‘deposited’ them - each holding a piece of paper > with their number on it- about 10 metres apart. > > > > When all were in position I invited everyone to go to join with the person > whose topic attracted them, find a place to gather and get on with it! > > > > (As an aside I would add that, while this was happening, I felt a totally > unexpected attack of diarrhea coming on. The food in Sumatra – similar for > every meal of the day – is very spicy, normally no problem for me. Having > finally said ‘go to it’ I had to dash and only just made it!). > > > > On my return, much relieved, to the hall I found that all the groups were > sitting on the floor between the stage and the first row of seats, and were > thoroughly engaged.When the time was up I asked them to hand in their > reports. At least one of these was ‘voluminous’ in that the scribe had > recorded several pages of notes. > > > > And then invited anyone to come down to the microphone to express their > experience of being a participant. As this was all done in Bahasa Indonesian > I did not follow the details. What I did gather were three comments: > > > > . Until this experience I had always thought that only the most intelligent > members of a class were capable of coming up with ideas on a topic such as > the one we addressed. Now I know that anyone may do so. > > > > . When my colleagues and I do research we usually look at the negative side > of issues. I can now see that looking for positive aspects would be very > valuable. > > > > . I have never before imagined myself coming forward to talk to an audience > this large. Today I have done it. > > > > Who knows what the principals of this private university made of their > observations of this event? (The three of us had to leave immediately after > to appear in a live local TV program). In my experience the chances of > receiving direct feedback are not great. Nonetheless I always invoke my own > primary measure of success: It happened! Being invited back would be another > indication of impact. > > 2. Positive Deviance > > Referring to my post: ‘OST and PD (Positive Deviance)’ 11 Nov 2010 and the > comments on this: > > While PD and OST are highly complementary they are different approaches. PD, > in my understanding, provides a powerful framework for conceptualizing what > is ‘working’ well, what to look out for and how to use insights and knowledge > of why some people do better than others in seemingly similar situations. > > > > Implementing such knowledge in particular contexts requires a different skill > set from facilitating OST forums. Joelle Lyons Everett, in Seattle, does both > and says that her background in OST serves her well for her work as a coach > of PD in addressing MRSA infections in hospitals. I suspect that Henry > Lipmanowicz and Lisa Kimball would say the same, nes pas? > > > > 3. Roles of Dania Pratiwi > > > > Dania, a recent graduate from the University of Indonesia in Jakarta, was the > ‘logisitics’ person on this enterprise. See http://conversare.net/?p=448 for > more information on how this came about and to gain a sense of who she is. > > > > She was the most personable and capable person imaginable to do this. She > took everything in her stride, mainly translating what I was saying but > plenty more, as an integral member of ‘The Three Amigos’. > > > > Something which I learned during our several most enjoyable days together was > that Dania’s one and only experience of OST to date was at the Second World > Congress of Imams and Rabbis for Peace in Seville, Spain in March 2006. This > was as a 19 year old member of an organization called ‘Children of Abraham.’ > > > > There she met Harrison who facilitated an OST session. And also, for the > first time in her life as a Muslim, Rabbis. “I met a lot of Great Imams and > Rabbis there and learned a lot of things from them. I learned that we can > always turn our enemies into friends. I also learned that we may be > different, but inside we are brothers.” > > > > This experience prompted Dania to join the OSlistserv, which is how she came > to offer her assistance when she saw that I would be working in Indonesia in > May of this year. > > > As you may surmise doing this work with Elfindri and Dania was likely to be > eye-opening for many people, and certainly was truly wonderful experiencing > for us. The portents are that there will be follow-ups next year. > > Go well > > > > Alan > Hong Kong > > > > > * * ========================================================== > osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu ------------------------------ To subscribe, > unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of > osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu: > http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about > OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist > > > > -- > Suzanne Daigle > NuFocus Strategic Group > 7159 Victoria Circle > University Park, FL 34201 > FL 941-359-8877; > CT 203-722-2009 > www.nufocusgroup.com > s.dai...@nufocusgroup.com > twitter @suzannedaigle > > * * ========================================================== > osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu ------------------------------ To subscribe, > unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of > osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu: > http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about > OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist * * ========================================================== osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu ------------------------------ To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu: http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist