So good poem, I remind all my relaitives and friends, also Brien Bainbrige,
Galina. 2010/12/28 Peggy Holman <pe...@peggyholman.com> > Dear Suzanne, > > I come late to offering condolences on your father's passing. > > When my mother died, someone, I don't remember who, gave me a poem that > moved me. I hope you find solace in it. > > Peggy > > > GIVE WHAT'S LEFT OF ME AWAY > > When I die > Remember me with a smile and laughter. > If thoughts of me provoke no love, > Only sadness and tears, > I ask that I be soon forgotten. > > Give what's left of me away > To children and old men who wait to die. > And if you must cry, cry for your brother > Who walks in grief beside you. > And when you need me, > Put your arms around anyone, > And give them what you need to give me. > > I want to leave you something. > Something better than words or sounds. > Look for me in the people I've known or loved, > Or helped in some special way. > And if you cannot give me away, > Let me live in your eyes for awhile, > As well as in your mind. > > You can love me most > By letting love live > Within the circle of your arms > Embracing the frightened ones. > > Love doesn't die, people do. > So when all that's left of me is love, > Give me away. > > -- Jack Link > > > On Dec 13, 2010, at 3:40 AM, Suzanne Daigle wrote: > > Dear Alan and all in the Open Space family, (long and personal....!) > > Where to start, how to start and what to say. On many fronts Alan, I have > much to say and share. > > *First and most important*, is this work in Health Care, globally, > nationally, regionally and locally that you are connecting us to. In the > past 10 years or so, I have spent weeks and months in the hospital > accompanying my aging parents undergoing various medical interventions. When > you live and sleep in the hospital, you see and feel many things. You see > the kindness of staff, you know the deep intention to do good and you feel > the powerlessness and sheer exhaustion of many overwhelmed by a system that > is struggling most days: struggling at how complicated medicine has become, > with so many procedures and processes, advanced technology that saves lives > and extends lives and yet often crashes with the "day-to-day basics" when we > often lose sight of and the loving care that is such an important part of > Health Care. Big business with its fervor to manage, predict and control > often intervenes in ways that are not helpful. If we could only trust the > human spirit more, I believe costs would be better managed and care would > have its noble place thus making us all "healthier" and "happier" in the > long run. > > Alan I applaud what you are doing; I applaud the conversations you convene > between human beings with human beings in so many places, in so many ways. > I honor Open Space and all that it does. I know that Positive Deviance, > though I am not deeply familiar with it but plan to be, offers a path to > change and transform health care and so many other areas in a way that lives > and breathes the very principles of Open Space. And then finally, I know > that Conversare is a gift from the heart, a gift to say that in life it is > okay to have fun, to enjoy being together and simply revel in this place > called life. We often forget that to "save the world" and "address all the > problems", the simple act of "enjoying each others' company and just "being > ourselves" goes a long way to get things done. When we appreciate each > other, we stop fixing and we start creating. > > *Now this is where my story becomes more complicated and personal. *I > share it with you because it is through Alan that I met Joelle Lyons Everett, > a great source of comfort and friendship these past weeks, and it is through > Open Space that I met Gail in Taiwan, Lisa from San Francisco who is also > living parent care, and of course Harrison and so many others in the Open > Space community. As I have often done in the past, I will share vulnerably > with you again now. > > A week ago tonight, my father passed away in hospice at the hospital. A few > short months ago, he was the picture of health pushing my mom's wheelchair, > racing up stairs and still the guy very much in charge. Those who know me > and have read me on this Open Space international list, know my close > relationship with my dad, this man, the doctor who revered facts, data, > science and medicine, the rebel at heart always battling the system, the one > who did not always understand the "emotional and spiritual ways" of his > daughter or large system change achieved not through "force and might" or > "right and wrong" but rather using Harrison's Wave Riding words through an > understanding that "high performance is the productive interplay of diverse, > complex forces, including chaos, confusion and conflict, characterized by > wholeness, health and harmony." These past few years, dad and I found each > other through Open Space. What fun he had reading the Italian Version of > Open Space Technology and then grilling me as a stern teacher would a > trembling student. > > What I also know now is that on the other side of pain lies a brand new > life, one where I will be released from this desire to please and appease > that happens so often between daughters and fathers, between sons and > fathers -- something that often gets carried into the rest of our lives. I > will know "freedom" and "choice" no longer seeking approval, passionately > engaged in this important work of Open Space. But first I will rest and sink > into this complicated grief work realizing perhaps for the first time that > in death as in life, all is not always as it appears. Soothed by re-reading > what Harrison has written in many books including Spirit ( > http://www.openspaceworld.com/Spirit.pdf) about the process of grief work > which was inspired by the late Elisabeth Kubler Ross, I will know that I am > like so many others, just human and by knowing this, I will be better in the > future at "opening, holding and closing" space. > > So Alan, hopefully you will not feel that I high jacked your posting with > my personal life story. I never knew Alan that meeting in Taiwan at WOSonOS > with us raising our martini glass with a salute to our pal HO would lead to > this long distance friendship and collegial relationship. > > In closing, it seems appropriate to shift away from my story or what Alan > described to what a few Sumatra participants said which speaks a common > truth that we hear all the time and in many ways are our "raison d'être" for > Opening Space and why we, in this wonderful Open Space community of ours, do > what we do: > > "Until this experience I had always thought that only the most intelligent > members of a class were capable of coming up with ideas on a topic such as > the one we addressed. Now I know that anyone may do so." > > > "When my colleagues and I do research we usually look at the negative side > of issues. I can now see that looking for positive aspects would be very > valuable." > > > "I have never before imagined myself coming forward to talk to an audience > this large. Today I have done it." > > > *Simple truths indeed! > * > > > Affectionately and appreciatively signed, > > Suzanne Daigle > > > > On Sat, Dec 11, 2010 at 8:55 PM, Alan Stewart <alanmstew...@gmail.com>wrote: > >> Hello All >> >> >> Further to my being in West Sumatra in May of this year to give a keynote >> address at an international conference on ‘The Health Care Revolution in >> Indonesia’ …at which I suggested that OST is a very effective means by which >> to enable communities to communicate their perceived needs for health care >> services. See: >> >> >> http://openspaceworld.ning.com/forum/topics/sewing-seeds-for-ost >> >> >> The organizer of the conference was Prof Dr Elfindri (like many people in >> Indonesia he has only one name) who was one of my PhD students when I was an >> academic nutritionist in a medical school in Australia in the early 90s. >> While his background is in economics he wished to better understand the >> relationship between the nutritional status of communities and their >> productivity. >> >> >> In the course of his studies I passed on to him the concept of Positive >> Deviance (PD). He used this approach in the field work for his PhD thesis >> and subsequently in further studies. So successful did this prove that he >> published widely on the approach and also set up his own publishing company >> to produce books on the topic. >> >> >> Elfindri is now a well respected and well connected person in Sumatra and >> beyond in Indonesia. >> >> >> He invited me back late last month to present, jointly, a series of >> seminar/workshops on OST and PD in several cities around this island, all to >> audiences comprising mainly staff and students of private universities. My >> role was to cover matters to do with OST, his on PD. We both also introduced >> our respective perspectives on ‘soft skills’ or ‘people skills’ >> >> >> Here are brief points about these elements of our presentations: >> ‘Experiential' >> OST, PD, roles of Dania Pratiwi. >> >> >> 1. ‘Hands on’ experience with OST >> >> >> In only one of the four sessions was there opportunity to provide this, >> given limitations of time and space. Nonetheless I touched on OST as a means >> of communicating with communities and its potential significance for health >> care practitioners wherever possible. >> >> >> In the first of the presentations, scheduled for a morning only, in >> Padang, while 500 participants were expected 1300 materialised. No >> possibility! In two others the time was even more limited and so no prospect >> either. >> >> >> In the one where there was an opportunity (a full day event in Pekanbaru, >> in Riau province), the time allocated was two hours only. And with an >> audience of some 250 - in a theatre with fixed seats that did not swivel - >> there was no possibility of having a circle! This audience comprised staff >> and students of nursing, midwifery and health education. >> >> >> Very briefly – the OST experience happened and happened well. I had >> mentioned in a talk in the morning that it would take place, immediately >> after lunch, and what the potential value to them could be. >> >> >> And had shown John Engle’s lovely >> video<http://openspaceworld.ning.com/video/john-engles-short-sweet>at the >> Mennonite Health Assembly Open Space. (Also to the 1300 strong >> audience earlier). John, even while you and your family are in a precarious >> situation in Haiti your influence is percolating nicely in Indonesia. >> >> >> In introducing the ‘hands on’ I: >> >> >> . suggested to the audience that they imagine that they were in a circle! >> >> . walked up and back up the centre isle of the theatre, in lieu of the >> circle, making eye contact with as many of the audience as possible. >> >> . spoke to the principles and associated ideas which Dania – see below – >> had produced beautifully and which were on display on the front of the >> stage. >> >> . indicated that the theme was ‘How may health care practitioners improve >> the nutritional status of children?’ >> >> . also indicated that there was time only for one breakout session of >> about 75 minutes. >> >> . invited everyone to come down to the front where there were paper and >> pens, and write what they thought was important to explore. >> >> . encouraged those who had a topic to offer to come to the front again to >> announce it. >> >> >> Whoosh! Immediately I had finished saying these things about 15 people >> from all parts of the audience ran (no leaped!) down, picked up their paper >> and began to scribe furiously. And then came forward to announce – >> through a hand held microphone – their topics. Having done this they pinned >> their papers to a board. >> >> >> What to do next? With only about 75 minutes for the break out session and >> about 15 topics I suggested that we pick five of them, randomly, to become >> the agenda items. These were then typed up by Dania and projected onto a >> large screen. >> >> Once this was done I invited the proponents of each to come down the front >> and allocated them a number from 1 to 5. I then asked them to follow me up >> the centre isle, where I ‘deposited’ them - each holding a piece of paper >> with their number on it- about 10 metres apart. >> >> >> When all were in position I invited everyone to go to join with the person >> whose topic attracted them, find a place to gather and get on with it! >> >> >> (As an aside I would add that, while this was happening, I felt a totally >> unexpected attack of diarrhea coming on. The food in Sumatra – similar for >> every meal of the day – is very spicy, normally no problem for me. Having >> finally said ‘go to it’ I had to dash and only just made it!). >> >> >> On my return, much relieved, to the hall I found that all the groups were >> sitting on the floor between the stage and the first row of seats, and were >> thoroughly engaged.When the time was up I asked them to hand in their >> reports. At least one of these was ‘voluminous’ in that the scribe had >> recorded several pages of notes. >> >> >> And then invited anyone to come down to the microphone to express their >> experience of being a participant. As this was all done in Bahasa >> Indonesian I did not follow the details. What I did gather were three >> comments: >> >> >> . Until this experience I had always thought that only the most >> intelligent members of a class were capable of coming up with ideas on a >> topic such as the one we addressed. Now I know that anyone may do so. >> >> >> . When my colleagues and I do research we usually look at the negative >> side of issues. I can now see that looking for positive aspects would be >> very valuable. >> >> >> . I have never before imagined myself coming forward to talk to an >> audience this large. Today I have done it. >> >> >> Who knows what the principals of this private university made of their >> observations of this event? (The three of us had to leave immediately after >> to appear in a live local TV program). In my experience the chances of >> receiving direct feedback are not great. Nonetheless I always invoke my own >> primary measure of success: It happened! Being invited back would be >> another indication of impact. >> 2. Positive Deviance Referring to my post: ‘OST and PD (Positive >> Deviance)’ 11 Nov 2010 and the comments on this: >> >> While PD and OST are highly complementary they are different approaches. >> PD, in my understanding, provides a powerful framework for conceptualizing >> what is ‘working’ well, what to look out for and how to use insights and >> knowledge of why some people do better than others in seemingly similar >> situations. >> >> >> Implementing such knowledge in particular contexts requires a different >> skill set from facilitating OST forums. Joelle Lyons Everett, in Seattle, >> does both and says that her background in OST serves her well for her work >> as a coach of PD in addressing MRSA infections in hospitals. I suspect >> that Henry Lipmanowicz and Lisa Kimball would say the same, *nes pas? >> * >> >> * >> * >> >> 3. Roles of Dania Pratiwi >> >> >> Dania, a recent graduate from the University of Indonesia in Jakarta, was >> the ‘logisitics’ person on this enterprise. See >> http://conversare.net/?p=448 for more information on how this came about >> and to gain a sense of who she is. >> >> >> She was the most personable and capable person imaginable to do this. She >> took everything in her stride, mainly translating what I was saying but >> plenty more, as an integral member of ‘The Three Amigos’. >> >> >> Something which I learned during our several most enjoyable days together >> was that Dania’s one and only experience of OST to date was at the Second >> World Congress of Imams and Rabbis for >> Peace<http://www.imamsetrabbins.org/en/congresses/detail/1/10/7>in Seville, >> Spain in March 2006. This was as a 19 year old member of an >> organization called ‘Children of Abraham.’ >> >> >> There she met Harrison who facilitated an OST session. And also, for the >> first time in her life as a Muslim, Rabbis. “I met a lot of Great Imams and >> Rabbis there and learned a lot of things from them. I learned that we can >> always turn our enemies into friends. I also learned that we may be >> different, but inside we are brothers.” >> >> >> This experience prompted Dania to join the OSlistserv, which is how she >> came to offer her assistance when she saw that I would be working in >> Indonesia in May of this year. >> >> >> As you may surmise doing this work with Elfindri and Dania was likely to >> be eye-opening for many people, and certainly was truly wonderful >> experiencing for us. The portents are that there will be follow-ups next >> year. >> >> Go well >> >> >> Alan >> Hong Kong >> >> >> >> * * ========================================================== >> osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu ------------------------------ To >> subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of >> osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu: >> http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about >> OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist > > > > > -- > Suzanne Daigle > NuFocus Strategic Group > 7159 Victoria Circle > University Park, FL 34201 > FL 941-359-8877; > CT 203-722-2009 > www.nufocusgroup.com > s.dai...@nufocusgroup.com > twitter @suzannedaigle > > * * ========================================================== > osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu ------------------------------ To > subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of > osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu: > http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about > OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist > > > * * ========================================================== > osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu ------------------------------ To > subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of > osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu: > http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about > OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist > -- Have a nice day! *BOSCA Travel* Tsarkova Galina, Director General Russia, Moscow, 101000 Lubyansky proezd, 5, building 1 Tel/fax: +7 495 623 27 67 Cell: +7-903-549-64-76 +7 926 296 62 75 E-mail: m...@boscatravel.ru Web | www.boscatravel.ru | : www.jordantravel.ru | sweettours.ru | Skype: gtsarkova * * ========================================================== osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu ------------------------------ To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu: http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist