In tears, impressed, proud, (also, actually, relieved truly, kind of what I would expect from both three of you. Doing what you do.) can¹t wait for you to come to this home so we can welcome you back to Brixton. Stella xx
On 20/01/2012 00:49, "Phelim McDermott" <phe...@mac.com> wrote: > Dear open space friends, > > Matilda and I have been a little absent from the list and just wanted to check > in with you all as to what's been happening and our extraordinary start to the > year. > > For the end of last year I had been working on an Opera at the Met in New > York. Matilda became pregnant in April and because of this work commitment if > we wanted to be together for the birth we had to have it in New York. Because > of the show timing was also an issue. Although we knew that whenever it > happened was the right time, we had also been talking to our baby in the womb > and encouraging it that if it could just hold off a little while it would get > to hear the opera and that if it came during rehearsals it would probably miss > the chance of hearing the baroque music that's supposed to be so good for your > baby in utero! On 31st, Dec 2011 The Enchanted Island opened. Matilda was > there on opening night and we were greatly relieved that things were happening > in the order we had hoped for. > > We then imagined we might even get a bit of a break for preparation before > anything else happened. However, two days later on the evening of the Monday > Matilda's first contractions began. (Whenever it starts is the right time.) We > met our Doula (birthing companion) briefly then went for a meal at the Italian > restaurant on the corner of 8th and C, (It's amazing how quickly your food > arrives if you tell them your wife's having contractions). Then we went back > to our East Village apartment and put up the birthing pool we had hired, > hoping that the midwife¹s assurance that it was like approximately 8 big men > drinking beer in your kitchen was accurate and it wasn't going to crash > through the floor. Then we went to bed and tried to get some sleep. Matilda > being Matilda there wasn't much of that, nor for the next four nights. > > Next morning We gathered around the empty birthing pool. This was our circle. > Increasing our numbers with some toy monkeys and an elephant who had been > given as a gift for the baby we opened the space for our birth. We made An > invitation for this new life to come into the world. The principles were up on > our apartment walls and we posted sessions that could happen at any time. They > included ³Music and dancing², ³Wise Teachers², ³Love and welcome², ³Filling > the pool² etc.. > > Now if you go through the principles and think about it you¹ll realise how > pertinent they are for a genuine birth. Especially when you are hundred miles > from home and dealing with all the things that come with setting up for the > holding of space for the entry of a new life into this world. > > Whenever it starts is the right time. > Whoever comes are the right people. > When it's over it's over. (and when not over it's not over of course!) > Whatever happens is the only thing that could have. Wherever it happens is the > right place. > > Law of two feet/mobility. > > Be prepared to be surprised! > > Amazed at how marginalised the midwifing community is in the USA compared to > Europe we had watched the great film ³The business of being born² and had been > given a recommendation by our UK midwife of a midwife in the States. We > discovered it was not only the midwife in this film but that she was living > two streets away from us in the East village opposite a restaurant called > ³Matilda²! > > During our pre birth work we had been doing a lot of studying, finding out > about midwifery and had been amazed by Michel Odent's and also Ina May > Gaskin's work. Lots of the literature could easily be interchangeable with > work on creativity/opening space. For example: Odent's advice that he usually > turns up at a birth and says: ³Do you mind if I go take a nap in the room down > the corridor.² Also ³the best place for an obstetricians hands are in his > pockets² etc.. All this work is about space.. space.. opening space.. Holding > space. Its about trusting in emergence, whilst holding off on intervention. > > Over the next four days with the help of our amazing Midwife Cara and our > Doula Angelique we went on an extraordinary roller coaster of physical and > emotional experience. They were both fantastic at holding and creating a safe > space for us both and they allowed me to support Matilda in following herself > mentally and physically. > > It was an incredibly challenging birth because of what turned out to be our > little son's position against Matilda's back, so it was very long and although > it looked like we may have to go to hospital at the later stages, our > wonderful Midwife and Doula and their team of helpers who appeared in various > guises throughout the three days pulled us through and our home birth happened > as we had hoped. Others who helped were Pat an astonishing acupuncturist who > turned up on the Thursday night <x-apple-data-detectors://0> who just > happened to be nearby and gave Matilda "liquid hips²! and Miriam a midwife > colleague of Cara's who appeared because she had texted Cara to meet for a > coffee just when we needed support because it looked like the baby¹s heart was > slowing. She walked through the door to see the babies head crowning. Truly > whoever comes are the right people! She then helped getting the baby out fast > with Cara to speed things up as his heart was slowing. We stood Matilda up and > the baby was born not in the pool but in front of our sofa. (Wherever it > happens is the right place.) > > As well as them, Matilda was of course amazing and inspiring. Doing it all > without painkillers and using only myself, a birthing pool, the open space > principles and repeated playings of "The Bare Necessities" to get her through. > > At 8.47am <x-apple-data-detectors://1> on the 6th Jan 2012 the baby was born. > Because of his difficult route his head was squished into a rather dramatic > lopsided horn, (³be prepared to be surprised² and ³whatever happens is the > only thing that could have²), which quickly disappeared. Riddley Wilbur > McDermott (Whoever comes are the right people.) is now doing very well. He is > particularly beautiful. > > Here's a photo of him: > > http://clusterform.tumblr.com/post/16137649871/riddley-wilbur-mcdermott-libati > que-73-lens-kodot > > Our birth has now happened. (when it's over it's over) But the space that has > opened where our baby boy now exists is astounding, scary, exhilarating and > profoundly humbling. We love him. > > For our new family it is of course just beginning... (When it's not over it's > not over.) > > > Lots of love > > Phelim X > > ________________________________ > > I generally pick up emails only at the beginning and end of the working day. I > am currently aiming to respond the following day. If it is urgent please call > me on 07956 187298. > _____________________________________ > > www.improbable.co.uk <http://www.improbable.co.uk> > @openspacer > @wosonos2012 > > > > >> >
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