What helped me heal was knowing that I probably would not have been a midwife, or maybe not so caring, if it was not for that. I know I have managed to help some women avoid what I had.
Judy
Judy Chapman
Midwife
07 47490764
From: "Aviva Sheb'a" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Reply-To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] hurtful birth experiences
Date: Wed, 13 Nov 2002 22:35:18 +1030
Re: [ozmidwifery] hurtful birth experiencesit's tragic that this is typical of rapees too. I think we ought to celebrate every woman who makes the steps to even begin to heal; and let's celebrate every step along the way.
love to you all,
aviva
----- Original Message -----
From: rem & melissa bruijn
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent: Wednesday, November 13, 2002 11:09 PM
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] hurtful birth experiences
Judy - I am so sorry that you received no validation for your experience. The comments re. having a healthy baby can be so hurtful. I found they added guilt and self-doubt to the horrible way I was feeling. ie "How can it be that I am not happy?". And you are right - when does the mother get healthy? 24 years is a long time - I am just so sorry.
Melissa
----------
From: "Judy Chapman" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: [ozmidwifery] hurtful birth experiences
Date: Mon, 11 Nov 2002 8:07 PM
You are so right about the validation. All I got after 2 CS for 'Failure to Progress' (ob impatience) was 'you should be thankful you have a healthy baby'. What about me, don't I get a chance to be healthy! It took about 24 years to come to terms with it.
Judy
From: "rem & melissa bruijn"
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] hurtful birth experiences
Date: Sun, 10 Nov 2002 21:52:43 +0800
MArgie - just wanted to say THANK YOU for these words. The biggest thing I
am finding for anyone who has been traumatised by their birth experience is
GETTING VALIDATION.
Everytime someone says "It is not ok", as you have, it lets us hear that our
pain is valid. We usually hear "but you're fine and the baby is fine"
whenever we mention our difficulties to others. Hearing "It is not ok" also
gives us permission to grieve, for it admits that there IS another way that
IS ok...and we have missed out on it. It is important to acknowledge this.
And the way you wrote about having had the honour of supporting traumatised
women on their new journey...that just fills me with hope, and gratitude
that there are people like you out there. Thank you,
Melissa
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