Re: [ozmidwifery] My book

[Aviva Sheb'a]

Pinky, can you hear the sound of many hands clapping? There are two here from me. Love, Aviva ----- Original Message ----- From: Pinky McKay To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Tuesday, November 19, 2002 9:02 AM Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] My book Hi Marilyn my youngest is in the local school, he did have some early HS and a small Steiner school which started with just a few days a week - while some things are better these days, like birthing it seems incredible that nobody has worked it out - that kids behave as well as they are treated (just like us).  I get so sick of hearing about yard duty and lines for trivial stuff like not having my hat on because some girl threw it over the fence - it was just a game! Last week I went to teacher asking 'what the helll is a gold license?" obviously worth TWO yard duties in the same lunch break (I had been to doctors, a funeral and an exhibition opening with my older kids that day and worked til 2am to catch up but didnt know about 'gold license') -I found it in the recycling bin at home - "tidy" (Obsessive) hubby had thrown the little piece of paper in the bin -kid had placed it beside his shoes so he wouldnt forget it in the morning. Today we are having an "RDO" and doing schoolwork at home (catching up on homework to avoid lines which a) dont teach anything esp enthusiasm for homework! b) interfere with social skills -playing and being part of the group at playtime which is vital when a kid has other difficulties  and c) mean the kid doesnt get necessary exercise to relieve the "ants" to  make sitting in classroom for next part of day practical d) simply adds to the stress of spending most of the day doing something that is very difficult for him then coming home and having to do more of same ) today he was complaining that  "the remedial teacher yells when I yawn or sniff and its all dripping in the back of my throat. I have to sniff" -in spite of claratyne and diet restrictions  he has allergies and hayfever at present which accounts for yawning and sniffing -as well as the light sensitivity which affects visual perception and an auditory processing difficulty which means he cant block out extra noise and differentiate which is the voice to listen to. It is probably very like being spoken at in both ears simultaneously while the teacher is trying to give instructions - ever tried this as an exercise? - (we did it at the toddler workshop just to show how littlies may be affected by places like shopping centres etc -it drives you bonkers)  -  yes I have bruises to show too - I so strongly believe that the skills we learn from participating in birth keep on helping us to question/ assert (the 'authorities' are not all knowing) and the bonding  gives us and our kids a head start in empathy. We need this confidence and inner knowing to take us along the mother journey.   Wherever we birth or school, ultimately it is our relationship with the kids that colours their ability to be who they are. Circumstances vary so much for each of us and at different times - with a sick husband I neither have the energy to fight the system some days (and wonder if it will make a difference anyway), nor the envirionment I would like and not working isnt an option either for the $$ or for being me , so I try to work within these confines the best I can and school is part of the equation (most days). Funnily, I used to get flack because my kids werent in school - now I sometimes get flack because this child is at school - a mothers place is often 'in the wrong' . If we had been driving aeroplanes for twenty odd years, people would trust that we might have developed some skills but as a mother - no such acknowledgment!   Pinky